1.09.2011

8:53 am talks

Well well we meet again, though in a very different inclosure.
This blog thing is interesting, yes.
It gives me a few tingles in my undercarriage
and smells of sweet tangy orange.

BRACE YOURSELVES FOR POPUPS
if you are ill prepared for this fight you will be subdued by the army of singles that live in your area.  Pick up the nearest can of shaving cream and squirt your eyes, once you are completely blinded, pop ups will be super ineffective and you will be prized with that long awaited dinosaur looking bed frame.  Guaranteed to make sleeping like the "Land Before Time", and your nightmares as friendly as your old pet gerbil, Fuzzy. (R.I.P. my friend....)

Alas, i digress.  There is no way a pop up block can do all of that. sigh. What has this world come to? Why haven't moving walkways strayed from airports?  So, i ask you.  Why do you like to hang upside down and hold your spoon in between your toes as you eat yogurt?  Is it more efficient? Probably not.  Most likely it was a habit that you built up from watching too much Jungle Book.  But no ones complaining.  Just realize how difficult shoes will be in your life.

Careful observation my dear Watson.  What you observe as a youngster greatly impacts your future, no?  If you woke up and saw a large freckled ass attached to your ceiling everyday--  I'm sure there would be a significant impact on how socially convene with other people.

Unlikely scenarios with a Dad:

Dad, there is a plastic butt infront of the computer monitor.
Dad...why are we going to the store now?  Because Dad has very dry skin and needs lots of lotion.
Dad, someone dropped frosting on the floor again.
Dad, why do you take such long shits?

Anyway, that got old quick.  Yawn. TOE TOUCH TOE TOUCH.  i'll touch your toe if you touch mine!
RAWRAWR "DON'T TOUCH THE SACRED ELEPHANTS TOES"

:"Why nooootttt"
|"Because they are dirty and filled with OOGLY WORMS THAT EAT YOUR DEAD SKIN CELLS"
:"Isn't that good?"
|"Hmm, you're right."
:"TOE TOUCH TOE TOUCH WE ARE GETTING FACIALS WOOHOOO!"

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