Bed time.
no really,
im serious this time.
goodnight.
7.29.2011
7.26.2011
Bark my little chiwahwah
tenderloin,
repeat. tenderloin over.
we need your assistance,
someone is in need of fat scribbling poopoo,
and you're the guy for the job.
my little.
tenderloin.
Bowling balls,
get some balls to go bowling in!
Shiny marbles half off,
but they are not as good for bowling.
Sneeze:
A brief injection of your bacteria,
into my face
now i have face herpes,
oh wait... that's just acne.
my endings always consist of pirate beards and fancy eye wear.
you tiny tit.
gross.
repeat. tenderloin over.
we need your assistance,
someone is in need of fat scribbling poopoo,
and you're the guy for the job.
my little.
tenderloin.
Bowling balls,
get some balls to go bowling in!
Shiny marbles half off,
but they are not as good for bowling.
Sneeze:
A brief injection of your bacteria,
into my face
now i have face herpes,
oh wait... that's just acne.
my endings always consist of pirate beards and fancy eye wear.
you tiny tit.
gross.
7.25.2011
sleeping under the low hum of a cruise missle
two posts in a day?
not even!
every have that anti climatic feeling when u think you really have to go poo.
but in reality its just your intestines having micro seizures from all the old beer still
going around and around you like a smoothie machine?
yea yea, heavy drinking is poor to your health, leads to wonderful accidents, and a weird alter ego.
do some people live in this alter ego? i wonderrr.
nah but really, the tuna sandwhich i had earlier made me feel like i had an alter ego. I think it was the eggs.
so according to your billing statement, someone calls you an asshole and takes 500 dollars from your paycheck. i smell something fishy, and its not the tuna farts ive been having.
or the paycheck envelope wrapped around the fresh salmon i caught earlier today with my mind powers all the way in Vermont.
hooha, if i had mind powers i would take off all your clothes, and then. PUT THEM ON ALL BACKWARDS WOOO
that'd be a hell of a day for the receiving end. Oh, i might buy a digital pen tablet thing for my computer, so i can do even more FANTASTIC ARTWORK FOR YOUUU
and i mean fantastic.
till next time im bored. achoo achoo i found you too.
not even!
every have that anti climatic feeling when u think you really have to go poo.
but in reality its just your intestines having micro seizures from all the old beer still
going around and around you like a smoothie machine?
yea yea, heavy drinking is poor to your health, leads to wonderful accidents, and a weird alter ego.
do some people live in this alter ego? i wonderrr.
nah but really, the tuna sandwhich i had earlier made me feel like i had an alter ego. I think it was the eggs.
so according to your billing statement, someone calls you an asshole and takes 500 dollars from your paycheck. i smell something fishy, and its not the tuna farts ive been having.
or the paycheck envelope wrapped around the fresh salmon i caught earlier today with my mind powers all the way in Vermont.
hooha, if i had mind powers i would take off all your clothes, and then. PUT THEM ON ALL BACKWARDS WOOO
that'd be a hell of a day for the receiving end. Oh, i might buy a digital pen tablet thing for my computer, so i can do even more FANTASTIC ARTWORK FOR YOUUU
and i mean fantastic.
till next time im bored. achoo achoo i found you too.
welcome back
yea, i finally caved in.
i. got. a. new. keyboard.
now while waiting all these depressing weeks. I have found some activities.
For instance, i was growing my own cabbage, inwhich i ingested all of it
and used my personal compost to saute some beautiful macaroons.
but wait, you say that doesn't make sense. THOSE ARE COOKIES.
well they are not your damn cookies. so lay off the prestine fabric that covers my legs.
(i'm also starting a clothing line using threads spun from the backs of hairy people.
who are not werewolves, but they could be close.)
calm down pubic face. my brain is off top top
I AM SO HUNGRY. and besides being hungry, i want to eat a platoon of candy cane cats.
March on one by one, till the fun im done. I'll speak when spoken to... unless you stick your thumb in your bum.
Ye' old adversary.
you are so old.
and for this i write you a poem
of how old you are.
i hope you're not dead yet
xoxo
Joe's shoes half off
peace
bon soir
AEROPLANES YEA RITE, i fly that shit for breakfast.
did i mention i was really hungry? The food awaiting me is blended fish and eggwhites.
oh hell yesss.
i. got. a. new. keyboard.
now while waiting all these depressing weeks. I have found some activities.
For instance, i was growing my own cabbage, inwhich i ingested all of it
and used my personal compost to saute some beautiful macaroons.
but wait, you say that doesn't make sense. THOSE ARE COOKIES.
well they are not your damn cookies. so lay off the prestine fabric that covers my legs.
(i'm also starting a clothing line using threads spun from the backs of hairy people.
who are not werewolves, but they could be close.)
calm down pubic face. my brain is off top top
I AM SO HUNGRY. and besides being hungry, i want to eat a platoon of candy cane cats.
March on one by one, till the fun im done. I'll speak when spoken to... unless you stick your thumb in your bum.
Ye' old adversary.
you are so old.
and for this i write you a poem
of how old you are.
i hope you're not dead yet
xoxo
Joe's shoes half off
peace
bon soir
AEROPLANES YEA RITE, i fly that shit for breakfast.
did i mention i was really hungry? The food awaiting me is blended fish and eggwhites.
oh hell yesss.
7.01.2011
I like to cough in your face and laugh at your behind.
i've been gone a long time
and some of you may think,
ooooh he's gunna have a super awesome post because he's been thinking about what to post 24/7 but
truth is... im a senior citizen that has problems walking to the computer because my two grandchildren are clung to my calves like cinderblocks.
but really, i just spilled moldy pomegranant juice on my keyboard (if you follow my twitter you'd know this http://twitter.com/#!/JoesShoeStore) because i was trying to show someone via webcam at how gross it was. Then i used a old soaking wet dish sponge...then i sprayed it with windex because the dish sponge made it smell worse, and then i relized it was starting to fuck things up.
now now, it's alrite. Im using another laptop, but christ the way these keys are spaced make everyother word i type take 2 hours. Yes, i'm taking that long to write this piece of useless information about my life. And yes, this is why i don't have a life.
I would also like to thank the Swedes for ranking the highest hits on my blog. I had no idea you guys were into intergalactic shoes. But most of you prolly find out, that indeed, i do not sell shoes. And if i did, they would be made from my old shoes wrapped in glitter and sparkles with small Bic lighters attached to the sides to emulate rockets.
Oh, and one of my best friends is Swedish, i may visit him when he's up there. I hope to find at least 1 actual fan there and be there friend, and brag about it to all my friends that i met a fan from Sweden because this blog is so god damn popular it is being read all over the world.
(again, mostly Sweden)
So of course imma try and start posting regularly, for all the raccoons that have rabies, and all the little children who dream of space shoes.
i'll keep you guys updated. Even if you don't read a word i'm typing.
toodles~
and some of you may think,
ooooh he's gunna have a super awesome post because he's been thinking about what to post 24/7 but
truth is... im a senior citizen that has problems walking to the computer because my two grandchildren are clung to my calves like cinderblocks.
but really, i just spilled moldy pomegranant juice on my keyboard (if you follow my twitter you'd know this http://twitter.com/#!/JoesShoeStore) because i was trying to show someone via webcam at how gross it was. Then i used a old soaking wet dish sponge...then i sprayed it with windex because the dish sponge made it smell worse, and then i relized it was starting to fuck things up.
now now, it's alrite. Im using another laptop, but christ the way these keys are spaced make everyother word i type take 2 hours. Yes, i'm taking that long to write this piece of useless information about my life. And yes, this is why i don't have a life.
I would also like to thank the Swedes for ranking the highest hits on my blog. I had no idea you guys were into intergalactic shoes. But most of you prolly find out, that indeed, i do not sell shoes. And if i did, they would be made from my old shoes wrapped in glitter and sparkles with small Bic lighters attached to the sides to emulate rockets.
Oh, and one of my best friends is Swedish, i may visit him when he's up there. I hope to find at least 1 actual fan there and be there friend, and brag about it to all my friends that i met a fan from Sweden because this blog is so god damn popular it is being read all over the world.
(again, mostly Sweden)
So of course imma try and start posting regularly, for all the raccoons that have rabies, and all the little children who dream of space shoes.
i'll keep you guys updated. Even if you don't read a word i'm typing.
toodles~
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