I've ordered food again...overate again...and want to lay in bed like a sad banana peel that is yet to find the trash receptacle. It's the time of night when I can hear chants of children from down the street and a stranger leading them on a microphone. I believe it is a Jesus camp of the sorts but I cannot help imagining a young Hitler regime.
You know I don't frequent this blog anymore. After writing such a powerful peace last time I felt no urge to keep up that kind of quality material. This blog was born from the very mature mind of my 18 year old self...so why make it something it's not?
But then, I got this keyboard. You see, a writer is a musician and they need tools to create their art. One would think pfff a keyboard? Really? Are you going to make that as your excuse to why you will not write anymore?
Lemme tell you something about this keyboard. Have you ever stroked a sensitive part of you body and was like –this feels pretty good and then kept on going? Well this keyboard is kind of like that. Organic and mechanical, it takes each depression with a refined feel. You are no longer typing on that mushy potato. Typing up words on this creates the sense that you are putting physical effort to your work rather than transposing what you would write with pen and paper digitally.
And that is my short sales speech on mechanical keyboards. An old technology that has resurfaced due to nerds like me and that shameless market of selling overpriced "gaming" technology to children. I can get special branded o-rings for 20 dollars. O RINGS that cost fractions of a cent to manufacture for this keyboard. Well, I guess there will always be people who think so microscopically instead of stepping out to look at the big picture.
What is the big picture though? Is it that new flat screen you eagerly planned your whole Black Friday acquiring like it was a rare Pokemon that filled your brain with so much dopamine you might as well have been snorting coke off your Game-boy screen? Everything of this nature is opinionated and impossible for me define for everyone. So I'll just define for little ol' me.
The big picture is so fucking big that if you stare at it too long your eyes will shift east and west respectively then circle around the earth before jumping between a couple of worm holes to send them out of sync for as long as the universe is.
I guess you can call that anxiety or a midlife crisis too. While it is useful to step back and look at the entire game of RISK instead of your friend's overwhelming decision to mass troops in China, there needs to be some balance. If you are too anal and try to laser gun the dust particles from your desk every 5 minutes people would look at that as a little obsessive. However, if you let those dust particles build up because it is such a small aspect of your life you'll soon create the next dust bowl or more important for some -- not get laid.
So I guess today's self reflection is about balance. You know, that things you tried to achieve when you thought Buddhism was cool and perfectly represented how you feel man. But Buddhism isn't about taking acid and distancing yourself so far from reality that everything seems to make sense and then you get the grand idea that you will be able to implement it into your daily lifestyle only to realize you cannot be sober to achieve that kind of happiness because of how fucked up the world really is. I never studied Buddhism in depth enough to preach it. But balance is something anyone can learn to achieve.
Now you may be thinking. Are overly balanced people boring? Are they so content/discontent with everything that they become the grey blob that is injected into my veins when I stare at a vending machine at work so I don't give a shit about what falls through the trap door because all the choices are equally as shitty as the one next to it? I don't think anyone is boring, though. When I stand on the crowded subway I doubt everyone's mind is thinking:
"Subway subway subway oh they're cute subway stopped fuck the subway I hate the subway subway what's that smell subway vomit subway subway..."
...or maybe they are. That may just be a special case. I think it's safer to say we don't all think about poop while we are pooping on the toilet. Unless you carry a poop diary which actually would be pretty cool. I mean, a diary you only write in while you poo.
Anyway my brain is pooped. Thanks for listening to my thoughts tonight.
Showing posts with label am talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label am talk. Show all posts
12.09.2015
11.04.2011
.... (part 2)?
I feel like living
Is a term for breaking out
When you start to dissolve the particles
and one by one
each dust bite by dust bite
your spectrum of imagination widens
your thoughts are seen from more than a
180 degree point of view.
But 360
Each time you go around
720
1080…
You see more that you may have missed
more detail
more of the things that matter
and less of the cloudy clouds
that like to block
your awareness
with hazy thought.
mind fog..
its what we live to eradicate.
so we see clearly.
in to why we are.
and what we really want.
mind fog..
its what we live to eradicate.
so we see clearly.
in to why we are.
and what we really want.
4.02.2011
6:16 am talk
Shut up,
it's not 6 am. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!
liar liar father time,
mother time?
grandson TIME!
what are all these times? perception. duh.
that's all it is. Ever notice why time moves faster and slower sometimes?
yea, do something boring and it will seem forever, do something exciting.
then well.
SHIT HAPPENS.
and not the shit that covers your brand name briefs with silly little brown spots!
Critics from a Critic:
nah nah. just take your life mannn.
take it and enjoy it mannn.
it won't even go by fasterrrrr.
cause you won't even know the time dudeeee!
hahahhahahaha
and you'll just have that smirk on your face the whole time hahaha.
damnnn i want my face to be like that all the time. shiiiiit.
hahahaha
that's life i guessss mannn.
-the critic.
so
bring it back and around.
fella pass that joint to the left.
don't be slow, feel the riff.
of that weird ass guitar fello playing in the back
you all just ignore, but it gets to you in fact
a slight twitch of your foot starts moving to the beat
oh no, you've got a strain of musical influence
bearing deep in your neurological state
guess this guys got skills
i wonder his fate?
haha. sleeping.
it's not 6 am. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!
liar liar father time,
mother time?
grandson TIME!
what are all these times? perception. duh.
that's all it is. Ever notice why time moves faster and slower sometimes?
yea, do something boring and it will seem forever, do something exciting.
then well.
SHIT HAPPENS.
and not the shit that covers your brand name briefs with silly little brown spots!
Critics from a Critic:
nah nah. just take your life mannn.
take it and enjoy it mannn.
it won't even go by fasterrrrr.
cause you won't even know the time dudeeee!
hahahhahahaha
and you'll just have that smirk on your face the whole time hahaha.
damnnn i want my face to be like that all the time. shiiiiit.
hahahaha
that's life i guessss mannn.
-the critic.
so
bring it back and around.
fella pass that joint to the left.
don't be slow, feel the riff.
of that weird ass guitar fello playing in the back
you all just ignore, but it gets to you in fact
a slight twitch of your foot starts moving to the beat
oh no, you've got a strain of musical influence
bearing deep in your neurological state
guess this guys got skills
i wonder his fate?
haha. sleeping.
3.11.2011
1:06 am talks
hey hey hey,
we meet again in the bathroom,
you are smearing makeup all over the mirror.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
that face in the mirror is not yours,
it's your evil twin.
And if you are not careful, it will jump out and fill
your body with naughty pleasures and fruit baskets.
Bread or wine.
Bread soaked in wine?
wine soaked in bread?
What the hell does this mean?
LET'S GET DRUNK OFF OF BREAD!
I'm sure it's more tasty than your carbonated cough syrup you like to call
4-locos.
Bridge that gap between the innocence of your thighs,
i don't wanna see your underwear soaked in wine.
DRUNK OFF OF UNDERWEAR!
now isn't that gross?
let's have a toast.
to meat and cheese, and everything you can please.
My furniture is attractive, sofuckingwhat.
i like my couch too much?
it's unconditional love.
My favorite. You lie, cheat, abuse and it's still always there for you!
is that offensive? That you grace your buttocks on the seats of other couches?
Furniture does not have feelings, they have soft wonder cushions crafted
by the aliens in our non-existent planet Pluto.
My my time has flown, i'll be older than i know it, and then my knees will just disintegrate into dust while i'm walking. ohhh that would be quite an eventful day.
Bring it on my wonder duck.
Bring. it. on.
we meet again in the bathroom,
you are smearing makeup all over the mirror.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
that face in the mirror is not yours,
it's your evil twin.
And if you are not careful, it will jump out and fill
your body with naughty pleasures and fruit baskets.
Bread or wine.
Bread soaked in wine?
wine soaked in bread?
What the hell does this mean?
LET'S GET DRUNK OFF OF BREAD!
I'm sure it's more tasty than your carbonated cough syrup you like to call
4-locos.
Bridge that gap between the innocence of your thighs,
i don't wanna see your underwear soaked in wine.
DRUNK OFF OF UNDERWEAR!
now isn't that gross?
let's have a toast.
to meat and cheese, and everything you can please.
My furniture is attractive, sofuckingwhat.
i like my couch too much?
it's unconditional love.
My favorite. You lie, cheat, abuse and it's still always there for you!
is that offensive? That you grace your buttocks on the seats of other couches?
Furniture does not have feelings, they have soft wonder cushions crafted
by the aliens in our non-existent planet Pluto.
My my time has flown, i'll be older than i know it, and then my knees will just disintegrate into dust while i'm walking. ohhh that would be quite an eventful day.
Bring it on my wonder duck.
Bring. it. on.
2.25.2011
3:22 am talks
ahh sleep deprivation.
I welcome you back.
Maybe if i owned a love sack,
i'd give it a little tap tap
and pass out in your loving
squishy, beany buns.
mmm. buns.
Buns buns buns,
the more buns, the more fun.
Bread buns, sad buns,
red buns, saggy buns?
buns that make your lower eye lid quiver.
buns that retaliate when you stare at them too long.
I sell a dozen buns a-day.
over at joe's bun shop.
yes, i own a chain of stores.
some filled with really smelly cheese,
others with creative gifts to give to your deceased
pets.
But word oh word,
what kind of shops are those?
HOW ABSURD.
ill spit and pout,
fill some bean curd in your mouth
ruffle you up, and squeeze you thin
turn the tables on you,
be wary of the people you talk to,
ill fight them in a lick
throw some moves that'll make you sick
turn your body into a mangled mess.
make you cry back to your mama's breast.
but it's all just a test.
for your rite of passage.
into an underworld of thoughts,
a dark sinister plot.
To teach you all that i was taught.
a mouthful of words,
so confusing and dry.
seemingly indifferent.
is the only way to get by.
I welcome you back.
Maybe if i owned a love sack,
i'd give it a little tap tap
and pass out in your loving
squishy, beany buns.
mmm. buns.
Buns buns buns,
the more buns, the more fun.
Bread buns, sad buns,
red buns, saggy buns?
buns that make your lower eye lid quiver.
buns that retaliate when you stare at them too long.
I sell a dozen buns a-day.
over at joe's bun shop.
yes, i own a chain of stores.
some filled with really smelly cheese,
others with creative gifts to give to your deceased
pets.
But word oh word,
what kind of shops are those?
HOW ABSURD.
ill spit and pout,
fill some bean curd in your mouth
ruffle you up, and squeeze you thin
turn the tables on you,
be wary of the people you talk to,
ill fight them in a lick
throw some moves that'll make you sick
turn your body into a mangled mess.
make you cry back to your mama's breast.
but it's all just a test.
for your rite of passage.
into an underworld of thoughts,
a dark sinister plot.
To teach you all that i was taught.
a mouthful of words,
so confusing and dry.
seemingly indifferent.
is the only way to get by.
1.19.2011
12:02 am talks
WHAT THE FUCK???
Is it true my sleep has gone so ass backwards, that it has corrected itself
and i'm actually TIRED right now?
Yes...yes...and yes...
Girls and Guys will both meet their demise.
The hungry omnisex will destroy both genders with its conflicting sexual ograns.
It will lash out its beast of a tail to the weakest of woman creating a soft sore between their legs. And it will eat out the ever multiplying cat-tails that haunt some peoples dreams.
Gross.
And nowww time forrrr, fairytaleadventurelandfulloffunandallthatothershit EXCURSION OF THE CENTURY.
Look left! now! and now back down! at your toes! they are gone! the Toe toe monster stole your toe toes. Now you are fucked! Go get them before you fall on your face! OH SHIT! too late! You fell on your face and are now eating elephant dung that was allowed to ferment and created a strong concoction of super concentrated shit. Now you're in deep shit. It's poisonous-- grab the antidote from the most hated person in your life. Wait a second! THATS YOU! stick your hand in your front pocket and don't get distracted by its close proximity to your nono zone. IT'S CALLED THAT FOR A REASON. Now place the vial up your rectum and pretend your taking a reverse shit. Inhale with your asshole and sit on your head if you have to!
You have now passed the test into adulthood. Now wasn't that more exciting then getting your drivers license? I think so. no... i know so.
And i know you.
:)
Is it true my sleep has gone so ass backwards, that it has corrected itself
and i'm actually TIRED right now?
Yes...yes...and yes...
~ <---eheh squiggle...
Girls and Guys will both meet their demise.
The hungry omnisex will destroy both genders with its conflicting sexual ograns.
It will lash out its beast of a tail to the weakest of woman creating a soft sore between their legs. And it will eat out the ever multiplying cat-tails that haunt some peoples dreams.
Gross.
And nowww time forrrr, fairytaleadventurelandfulloffunandallthatothershit EXCURSION OF THE CENTURY.
Look left! now! and now back down! at your toes! they are gone! the Toe toe monster stole your toe toes. Now you are fucked! Go get them before you fall on your face! OH SHIT! too late! You fell on your face and are now eating elephant dung that was allowed to ferment and created a strong concoction of super concentrated shit. Now you're in deep shit. It's poisonous-- grab the antidote from the most hated person in your life. Wait a second! THATS YOU! stick your hand in your front pocket and don't get distracted by its close proximity to your nono zone. IT'S CALLED THAT FOR A REASON. Now place the vial up your rectum and pretend your taking a reverse shit. Inhale with your asshole and sit on your head if you have to!
You have now passed the test into adulthood. Now wasn't that more exciting then getting your drivers license? I think so. no... i know so.
And i know you.
:)
1.09.2011
8:53 am talks
Well well we meet again, though in a very different inclosure.
This blog thing is interesting, yes.
It gives me a few tingles in my undercarriage
and smells of sweet tangy orange.
BRACE YOURSELVES FOR POPUPS
if you are ill prepared for this fight you will be subdued by the army of singles that live in your area. Pick up the nearest can of shaving cream and squirt your eyes, once you are completely blinded, pop ups will be super ineffective and you will be prized with that long awaited dinosaur looking bed frame. Guaranteed to make sleeping like the "Land Before Time", and your nightmares as friendly as your old pet gerbil, Fuzzy. (R.I.P. my friend....)
Alas, i digress. There is no way a pop up block can do all of that. sigh. What has this world come to? Why haven't moving walkways strayed from airports? So, i ask you. Why do you like to hang upside down and hold your spoon in between your toes as you eat yogurt? Is it more efficient? Probably not. Most likely it was a habit that you built up from watching too much Jungle Book. But no ones complaining. Just realize how difficult shoes will be in your life.
Careful observation my dear Watson. What you observe as a youngster greatly impacts your future, no? If you woke up and saw a large freckled ass attached to your ceiling everyday-- I'm sure there would be a significant impact on how socially convene with other people.
Unlikely scenarios with a Dad:
Dad, there is a plastic butt infront of the computer monitor.
Dad...why are we going to the store now? Because Dad has very dry skin and needs lots of lotion.
Dad, someone dropped frosting on the floor again.
Dad, why do you take such long shits?
Anyway, that got old quick. Yawn. TOE TOUCH TOE TOUCH. i'll touch your toe if you touch mine!
RAWRAWR "DON'T TOUCH THE SACRED ELEPHANTS TOES"
:"Why nooootttt"
|"Because they are dirty and filled with OOGLY WORMS THAT EAT YOUR DEAD SKIN CELLS"
:"Isn't that good?"
|"Hmm, you're right."
:"TOE TOUCH TOE TOUCH WE ARE GETTING FACIALS WOOHOOO!"
This blog thing is interesting, yes.
It gives me a few tingles in my undercarriage
and smells of sweet tangy orange.
BRACE YOURSELVES FOR POPUPS
if you are ill prepared for this fight you will be subdued by the army of singles that live in your area. Pick up the nearest can of shaving cream and squirt your eyes, once you are completely blinded, pop ups will be super ineffective and you will be prized with that long awaited dinosaur looking bed frame. Guaranteed to make sleeping like the "Land Before Time", and your nightmares as friendly as your old pet gerbil, Fuzzy. (R.I.P. my friend....)
Alas, i digress. There is no way a pop up block can do all of that. sigh. What has this world come to? Why haven't moving walkways strayed from airports? So, i ask you. Why do you like to hang upside down and hold your spoon in between your toes as you eat yogurt? Is it more efficient? Probably not. Most likely it was a habit that you built up from watching too much Jungle Book. But no ones complaining. Just realize how difficult shoes will be in your life.
Careful observation my dear Watson. What you observe as a youngster greatly impacts your future, no? If you woke up and saw a large freckled ass attached to your ceiling everyday-- I'm sure there would be a significant impact on how socially convene with other people.
Unlikely scenarios with a Dad:
Dad, there is a plastic butt infront of the computer monitor.
Dad...why are we going to the store now? Because Dad has very dry skin and needs lots of lotion.
Dad, someone dropped frosting on the floor again.
Dad, why do you take such long shits?
Anyway, that got old quick. Yawn. TOE TOUCH TOE TOUCH. i'll touch your toe if you touch mine!
RAWRAWR "DON'T TOUCH THE SACRED ELEPHANTS TOES"
:"Why nooootttt"
|"Because they are dirty and filled with OOGLY WORMS THAT EAT YOUR DEAD SKIN CELLS"
:"Isn't that good?"
|"Hmm, you're right."
:"TOE TOUCH TOE TOUCH WE ARE GETTING FACIALS WOOHOOO!"
6:49 am talks (is it just me or are these getting later and later?)
Well ima open my mind a bit...yea....like that....oh oh....more please....
there we go.
Listen to you favorite music as you dance along the measures in harmony with the notes.
what kind of movement represents a note?
Whatever feels right.
Oh ya, this feeling, this internal rhythm, what is it controlled by? Why is it there?
Why do some people lack and others propel in the expression of figurative body movements.
Is it just one big advertisement for ones self? parading all around for everyone to see?
You can feel it too, the air between your fingers as you move them around. Casting swirls of motions, flicking off little pressures of air. The presence that overwhelms you when the music turns on. What is that? What does that arrangement of vibrations do to your mind?
Does it massage it in a way to activate certain sensors, some of those small minute neurons, responsible for the chain reaction of movement?
zippp...ruffle ruffle...thud.... i think ill close my mind up for now.
too much thinking, too little sleep.
there we go.
Listen to you favorite music as you dance along the measures in harmony with the notes.
what kind of movement represents a note?
Whatever feels right.
Oh ya, this feeling, this internal rhythm, what is it controlled by? Why is it there?
Why do some people lack and others propel in the expression of figurative body movements.
Is it just one big advertisement for ones self? parading all around for everyone to see?
You can feel it too, the air between your fingers as you move them around. Casting swirls of motions, flicking off little pressures of air. The presence that overwhelms you when the music turns on. What is that? What does that arrangement of vibrations do to your mind?
Does it massage it in a way to activate certain sensors, some of those small minute neurons, responsible for the chain reaction of movement?
zippp...ruffle ruffle...thud.... i think ill close my mind up for now.
too much thinking, too little sleep.
3:51 am talks
Lack of sleep,
the perfect aid for imagination!
guess what i'm imagining now?
me sleeping.
well anyway, i'd like to ask.
how are you?
and don't speak too fast.
because, im tired, and words bounce off me like opposite glue.
and opposite glue, is simple indeed.
apply thoroughly to the head.
and now rub your face into others words
as they will bounce off indifferent directions
but no one's words will ever reach you
and now your friends are going in different directions (all away from you)
guess its back to the drawing board.
What to be for Halloween?
good question, here's a better one.
what NOT to be on Halloween?
-a pile of sticks
-a female dog
-a misspelled skunk
-a donkey
-a piece of shit
-a dildo
-a pair of misshapen tits
-athletes foot
-a bro (for the love of god please, if anyone thinks of that, your creativity points drop bellow the line that allows you to ride roller coasters)
-as you can see they are getting less and less clever and more direct. im lazy, and OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?
oh. haha. it's my hand.
the perfect aid for imagination!
guess what i'm imagining now?
me sleeping.
well anyway, i'd like to ask.
how are you?
and don't speak too fast.
because, im tired, and words bounce off me like opposite glue.
and opposite glue, is simple indeed.
apply thoroughly to the head.
and now rub your face into others words
as they will bounce off indifferent directions
but no one's words will ever reach you
and now your friends are going in different directions (all away from you)
guess its back to the drawing board.
What to be for Halloween?
good question, here's a better one.
what NOT to be on Halloween?
-a pile of sticks
-a female dog
-a misspelled skunk
-a donkey
-a piece of shit
-a dildo
-a pair of misshapen tits
-athletes foot
-a bro (for the love of god please, if anyone thinks of that, your creativity points drop bellow the line that allows you to ride roller coasters)
-as you can see they are getting less and less clever and more direct. im lazy, and OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?
oh. haha. it's my hand.
1:02 am talks
Now i knew what i want to say.
convulsing ideas.
apples falling from the sky.
you know. the norm.
i always say it happens. but WHY does it happen exactly?
is it fate. is it luck. is it something completely and utterly ramdon?
im tired.
fuck technologies that make you lazier
and praise the items that make you more creative and thoughtful.
creativity is made for people who cannot be as creative.
One person's responsibility is to fufill the creativity void of others.
When someone can fufill many of those voids, they become recognized.
Famous even, for the talent and accomplishments they've done.
I wanna fill that void.
i wanna be that guy who gives things to people who cannot create such a thing on their own.
i'll go crazy then find a way to control that crazy.
controlled craziness is the best.
it gives you the energy and thought process of something supernatural,
and funnels it into something constructive. something useful.
anyone can have talents. but is it so self satisfying to keep buried within themselves?
chances are, their are other people that do not have your talents.
so. what i'm saying. go out, and advertise your talent. GO. now, or maybe prepare for a bit and come out with a bang.
because somewhere out there someone without that talent will appreciate it, or someone with a talent like yours will be inspired to come out.
so get out.
and have a blast.
the apple on my desk is bruised and ugly, but ill still eat it.
live.
(the apple metaphor has no deeper meaning, there is literally an apple on my desk that ive been staring at for quite sometime.)
enjoy yourself. please :)
convulsing ideas.
apples falling from the sky.
you know. the norm.
i always say it happens. but WHY does it happen exactly?
is it fate. is it luck. is it something completely and utterly ramdon?
im tired.
fuck technologies that make you lazier
and praise the items that make you more creative and thoughtful.
creativity is made for people who cannot be as creative.
One person's responsibility is to fufill the creativity void of others.
When someone can fufill many of those voids, they become recognized.
Famous even, for the talent and accomplishments they've done.
I wanna fill that void.
i wanna be that guy who gives things to people who cannot create such a thing on their own.
i'll go crazy then find a way to control that crazy.
controlled craziness is the best.
it gives you the energy and thought process of something supernatural,
and funnels it into something constructive. something useful.
anyone can have talents. but is it so self satisfying to keep buried within themselves?
chances are, their are other people that do not have your talents.
so. what i'm saying. go out, and advertise your talent. GO. now, or maybe prepare for a bit and come out with a bang.
because somewhere out there someone without that talent will appreciate it, or someone with a talent like yours will be inspired to come out.
so get out.
and have a blast.
the apple on my desk is bruised and ugly, but ill still eat it.
live.
(the apple metaphor has no deeper meaning, there is literally an apple on my desk that ive been staring at for quite sometime.)
enjoy yourself. please :)
601 am talks
It's 6 in the morning
everything is heavy.
ooooh sooo heavy.
i imagine myself diving into a pillow.
Not just in, but REALLY into a pillow.
Getting pulled between the microfiber gaps.
A vast network of threads, it almost appears to be a forest.
Yet...its very comforting.
very warm.
There are these little creatures called "cuddles"
that run up to you and massage you smooth
You feel so welcomed, so at home with these so cuddles.
But you tell them you have to go.
Cause oxygen is running low.
and you need to escape.
They tell you no no no no stay. staay.
You start to throw off the cuddles in hesistation.
They freak you out,
yet they are so warm and cozy.
Your brain is mashed between sides.
Then you grow tired, restless and weary.
Your Lungs become laxed, and no longer hesitate.
You say "what the hell" And become engulfed with richness, even more powerful than before.
You get lost in a good feeling, it sings you to sleep with its melody.
:yawn: and that's what i think about pillows.
ommnammmammsleepysleepymmm.
everything is heavy.
ooooh sooo heavy.
i imagine myself diving into a pillow.
Not just in, but REALLY into a pillow.
Getting pulled between the microfiber gaps.
A vast network of threads, it almost appears to be a forest.
Yet...its very comforting.
very warm.
There are these little creatures called "cuddles"
that run up to you and massage you smooth
You feel so welcomed, so at home with these so cuddles.
But you tell them you have to go.
Cause oxygen is running low.
and you need to escape.
They tell you no no no no stay. staay.
You start to throw off the cuddles in hesistation.
They freak you out,
yet they are so warm and cozy.
Your brain is mashed between sides.
Then you grow tired, restless and weary.
Your Lungs become laxed, and no longer hesitate.
You say "what the hell" And become engulfed with richness, even more powerful than before.
You get lost in a good feeling, it sings you to sleep with its melody.
:yawn: and that's what i think about pillows.
ommnammmammsleepysleepymmm.
12:45 am talks.
Just imagine if you were soooo tiny
ever so tiny.
That you fit inside a skittles bag.
And play with all the giant space shaped
giants.
THEN A GIANT HAND (THE HAND OF A DIVINE BEING)
will reach in and supernova one of those bitches.
:hopefully you are not on one of those "bitches":
otherwise it's osmosis jones all over again.
Doe a raeehaahh(how do you spell that. it makes no sense.) a female deer
You know snapple.
you know...
how it...feels...
Lets go tightropewalking tooogether
because it feels....nice....
You...knowww....how peeeople.
talk....slow?
wellfuckthatshit!!!
now, if you look on your left you will see a camel riding ANOTHER CAMEL. It's marvelous sight to see here in upsidedown land.
Which as you can see, feels quite...upside down! WAIT. LOOK AT YOUR SHOES PEOPLE THEY ARE ON YOUR HEAD.
AND NOW...and now. *ahem* (regain compusure) if you look on your right. IT'S A CARIBOUUUUU. HELLY YES.
~ Yours Truley,
Crazy tour guide Joe
ever so tiny.
That you fit inside a skittles bag.
And play with all the giant space shaped
giants.
THEN A GIANT HAND (THE HAND OF A DIVINE BEING)
will reach in and supernova one of those bitches.
:hopefully you are not on one of those "bitches":
otherwise it's osmosis jones all over again.
Doe a raeehaahh(how do you spell that. it makes no sense.) a female deer
You know snapple.
you know...
how it...feels...
Lets go tightropewalking tooogether
because it feels....nice....
You...knowww....how peeeople.
talk....slow?
wellfuckthatshit!!!
now, if you look on your left you will see a camel riding ANOTHER CAMEL. It's marvelous sight to see here in upsidedown land.
Which as you can see, feels quite...upside down! WAIT. LOOK AT YOUR SHOES PEOPLE THEY ARE ON YOUR HEAD.
AND NOW...and now. *ahem* (regain compusure) if you look on your right. IT'S A CARIBOUUUUU. HELLY YES.
~ Yours Truley,
Crazy tour guide Joe
2:22 am talks
RING A DING A LING A DING
its the special 2:22 am talk!
that's right all, step right on up to claim your prize!
except the prize is located on the other side of this large crevice about the size of...
WELLL... extremely large
what if there was a slot machine that always let you won?
except it shot out slices of ham at extreme speeds toward your face whenever you pulled the lever.
Now, you're thinking "man this "guy" is throwing a lotta "what ifs" is he some kinda "philosopher?"
and the answer is!
yes, i am. I currently charge 20$ for each philosophize.
appointments are currently being taken. Please bring speedos and 2 pounds of lube for each session.
that'll be all.
Lilly lingo likes to lick the leprosy off my back.
and by leprosy i mean the tiny endangered micro leopard colony that is living on my back, about a quarter of an inch south by south west of a very pronounced cyst that needs to be eradicated.
cyst popping sessions will also cost 20$.
please bring the appropiate tools.
(it would also help if you knew what you were doing).
today is a new day.
tomorrow is a new day.
well fuck. THEY ARE ALL NEW DAYS.
got me...
ok ok.
i gotta magic trick.
lift up your hand. and stare at the back of it.
now flip it and stare at the front of it.
NOW.
look at the back of your other hand. notice the thumb is on the SAME side.
cool huh?
~cheers
its the special 2:22 am talk!
that's right all, step right on up to claim your prize!
except the prize is located on the other side of this large crevice about the size of...
WELLL... extremely large
what if there was a slot machine that always let you won?
except it shot out slices of ham at extreme speeds toward your face whenever you pulled the lever.
Now, you're thinking "man this "guy" is throwing a lotta "what ifs" is he some kinda "philosopher?"
and the answer is!
yes, i am. I currently charge 20$ for each philosophize.
appointments are currently being taken. Please bring speedos and 2 pounds of lube for each session.
that'll be all.
Lilly lingo likes to lick the leprosy off my back.
and by leprosy i mean the tiny endangered micro leopard colony that is living on my back, about a quarter of an inch south by south west of a very pronounced cyst that needs to be eradicated.
cyst popping sessions will also cost 20$.
please bring the appropiate tools.
(it would also help if you knew what you were doing).
today is a new day.
tomorrow is a new day.
well fuck. THEY ARE ALL NEW DAYS.
got me...
ok ok.
i gotta magic trick.
lift up your hand. and stare at the back of it.
now flip it and stare at the front of it.
NOW.
look at the back of your other hand. notice the thumb is on the SAME side.
cool huh?
~cheers
1:05 am talks
lets talk about
f r e s h!
all the hotties and all uglies
he he he!
So one day, i was walking in the zoo. and by golly gee i find a zebrahee.
I pat its head and turn it about. No it did not know what i was talking about.
(i was actually asking for some tea)
however it did not produce such a tea. I cannot describe my extreme disappointment for the zebrahee's.
They also need a new color palette. let's say, green and blue?
or purple and sky!
is sky a color?
frick frack plip plop shitter shatter glee glum gooo
is what my poo sounds like throughout the toliet experience.
speaking of colors again, if men were to be a color what would they be?
and same goes for women?
and no, you cannot use the bathrooms/your baby clothes to determine this so!
so what would it be?
AND WHAT IF YOU WERE COMPLETELY COLORBLIND.
would that factor a difference?
sparkles rainbows glittery doo, ingest all this and you may just go a little...mad.
and as long as you're not sad, and just mad.
then you can move over just a tad.
and let the loser kid scoot on next to you.
for even if he smells like poo.
you look at him and ask "are you also mad!"
and with a sneer and a grin "just a tad"
with that all said. i bid thee farewell
for this is not a story i should tell.
f r e s h!
all the hotties and all uglies
he he he!
So one day, i was walking in the zoo. and by golly gee i find a zebrahee.
I pat its head and turn it about. No it did not know what i was talking about.
(i was actually asking for some tea)
however it did not produce such a tea. I cannot describe my extreme disappointment for the zebrahee's.
They also need a new color palette. let's say, green and blue?
or purple and sky!
is sky a color?
frick frack plip plop shitter shatter glee glum gooo
is what my poo sounds like throughout the toliet experience.
speaking of colors again, if men were to be a color what would they be?
and same goes for women?
and no, you cannot use the bathrooms/your baby clothes to determine this so!
so what would it be?
AND WHAT IF YOU WERE COMPLETELY COLORBLIND.
would that factor a difference?
sparkles rainbows glittery doo, ingest all this and you may just go a little...mad.
and as long as you're not sad, and just mad.
then you can move over just a tad.
and let the loser kid scoot on next to you.
for even if he smells like poo.
you look at him and ask "are you also mad!"
and with a sneer and a grin "just a tad"
with that all said. i bid thee farewell
for this is not a story i should tell.
2:23 am talks
aOnce again, i have met the same fate as before.
This time however, i have really lost all my marbles. So i set out to look for them.
-the purple one was under a rug
-the green one was in a cave to the west
-silver one was stuck on the moon in possession of some naked man doing his habitual dance
-red one was in my hand the whole time
-blue one was in the ear of an elephant
-yellow one tried to kill me, so i ignored it...
-orange one sent me postcards from San Francisco. I let it have 2 extra days before retrieval. He's not getting paid anytime soon.
Oh, and the yellow and blue one used to date.
Green was is coincidently their long lost son.
Chances ill have dreams of marbles tonight?
Highly likely.
This time however, i have really lost all my marbles. So i set out to look for them.
-the purple one was under a rug
-the green one was in a cave to the west
-silver one was stuck on the moon in possession of some naked man doing his habitual dance
-red one was in my hand the whole time
-blue one was in the ear of an elephant
-yellow one tried to kill me, so i ignored it...
-orange one sent me postcards from San Francisco. I let it have 2 extra days before retrieval. He's not getting paid anytime soon.
Oh, and the yellow and blue one used to date.
Green was is coincidently their long lost son.
Chances ill have dreams of marbles tonight?
Highly likely.
1:44 am talks
Heyy all
Joe Baker here broadcasting from his very own bed!
the past few nights i have not been able to sleep. (if anyone even cares)
So on to tonights adventure shall we?
First we will begin on a desert island, surrounded by raging seas. You've been stuck there for lets say, 5 years in some slumber. No human life has been able to find you, but your body stays nutrified.
Nutrified? Yes NUTRIEFIED. A term the monkees inhabiting the island like to call an iv drip fashioned from various tree fruit.
Well, now you awake, and you lurch forward making your stiff body breathe new life. There are monkee docotors surrounding you. They all "ooo" and "ahhh" respectively at the marvel that has occurred right before their eyes.
You attempt to speak, but the one wearing a surgeon's mask crams a banana in your mouth, and the group picks you up THEN flees you through a complicated network of leaves, branches, and the occasional poo!
But don't worry. they don't seem to have a killer intent. Do they?
Damn you're probably wondering what plan could they be cooking up in their heads, right?
Well me too.
haha.
Pointless but straight to the point.
Figure out the rest in your imagination.
-Joe Baker
Joe Baker here broadcasting from his very own bed!
the past few nights i have not been able to sleep. (if anyone even cares)
So on to tonights adventure shall we?
First we will begin on a desert island, surrounded by raging seas. You've been stuck there for lets say, 5 years in some slumber. No human life has been able to find you, but your body stays nutrified.
Nutrified? Yes NUTRIEFIED. A term the monkees inhabiting the island like to call an iv drip fashioned from various tree fruit.
Well, now you awake, and you lurch forward making your stiff body breathe new life. There are monkee docotors surrounding you. They all "ooo" and "ahhh" respectively at the marvel that has occurred right before their eyes.
You attempt to speak, but the one wearing a surgeon's mask crams a banana in your mouth, and the group picks you up THEN flees you through a complicated network of leaves, branches, and the occasional poo!
But don't worry. they don't seem to have a killer intent. Do they?
Damn you're probably wondering what plan could they be cooking up in their heads, right?
Well me too.
haha.
Pointless but straight to the point.
Figure out the rest in your imagination.
-Joe Baker
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