It doesn't feel like morning.
It doesn't feel like anything.
nothing, at all.
empty?
plain.
boring.
mundane.
Throat has a little scratchy scratch to it.
swollen vocal chords that make you feel like you have
a lump in your throat. Soothe it with cool water from the
tap. burp out some air that has been hiding in your stomach.
Scratch your head and yawn so big your jaw might pop a little.
giant cheeseburgers for eyes?
a slight twitch to your left arm...
internals feel hot and dry.
quick go jump in the snow to survive.
and eat it all as if it were mashed potatoes.
that would be quite the feast.
if you ask me..
good morning folks.
2.25.2011
3:22 am talks
ahh sleep deprivation.
I welcome you back.
Maybe if i owned a love sack,
i'd give it a little tap tap
and pass out in your loving
squishy, beany buns.
mmm. buns.
Buns buns buns,
the more buns, the more fun.
Bread buns, sad buns,
red buns, saggy buns?
buns that make your lower eye lid quiver.
buns that retaliate when you stare at them too long.
I sell a dozen buns a-day.
over at joe's bun shop.
yes, i own a chain of stores.
some filled with really smelly cheese,
others with creative gifts to give to your deceased
pets.
But word oh word,
what kind of shops are those?
HOW ABSURD.
ill spit and pout,
fill some bean curd in your mouth
ruffle you up, and squeeze you thin
turn the tables on you,
be wary of the people you talk to,
ill fight them in a lick
throw some moves that'll make you sick
turn your body into a mangled mess.
make you cry back to your mama's breast.
but it's all just a test.
for your rite of passage.
into an underworld of thoughts,
a dark sinister plot.
To teach you all that i was taught.
a mouthful of words,
so confusing and dry.
seemingly indifferent.
is the only way to get by.
I welcome you back.
Maybe if i owned a love sack,
i'd give it a little tap tap
and pass out in your loving
squishy, beany buns.
mmm. buns.
Buns buns buns,
the more buns, the more fun.
Bread buns, sad buns,
red buns, saggy buns?
buns that make your lower eye lid quiver.
buns that retaliate when you stare at them too long.
I sell a dozen buns a-day.
over at joe's bun shop.
yes, i own a chain of stores.
some filled with really smelly cheese,
others with creative gifts to give to your deceased
pets.
But word oh word,
what kind of shops are those?
HOW ABSURD.
ill spit and pout,
fill some bean curd in your mouth
ruffle you up, and squeeze you thin
turn the tables on you,
be wary of the people you talk to,
ill fight them in a lick
throw some moves that'll make you sick
turn your body into a mangled mess.
make you cry back to your mama's breast.
but it's all just a test.
for your rite of passage.
into an underworld of thoughts,
a dark sinister plot.
To teach you all that i was taught.
a mouthful of words,
so confusing and dry.
seemingly indifferent.
is the only way to get by.
2.23.2011
2.22.2011
Asexual
I can hear them!
They're comming!
TAKE COVER
wooooooooosh~
IT'S A SEA OF SEX DEPRIVATION
oh my god, they are humping everything into DUST.
Scruffy? WHERE ARE YOU GOING SCRUFFY?!?!?
don't...NOO...don't do that to my brother!
You have just lost your brother.
He has been suffucated by sex juice
and sweaty thighs.
but you can't mourn.
You cannot sit by and watch the lunatic
gaze in their eyes zero in on you.
You must carry off on foot, or car or bus, or airplane.
whatever is readily available!
Leave the country, cover your tracks.
Once they smell your scent, they will cross oceans
to find you.
Burn all traces of your name and cover yourself in something that smells different.
Break into the skunk exhibit and rub Mr. and Mrs. Skunk all over your body
and then paint yourself black and white and live together with them as a happy family.
Only then will you be truely free.
From the sex craved marketing schemes
that have taken the form of really large,
rather hairy, and rather deformed.
men.
...if they can even be called. "men" anymore.
They're comming!
TAKE COVER
wooooooooosh~
IT'S A SEA OF SEX DEPRIVATION
oh my god, they are humping everything into DUST.
Scruffy? WHERE ARE YOU GOING SCRUFFY?!?!?
don't...NOO...don't do that to my brother!
You have just lost your brother.
He has been suffucated by sex juice
and sweaty thighs.
but you can't mourn.
You cannot sit by and watch the lunatic
gaze in their eyes zero in on you.
You must carry off on foot, or car or bus, or airplane.
whatever is readily available!
Leave the country, cover your tracks.
Once they smell your scent, they will cross oceans
to find you.
Burn all traces of your name and cover yourself in something that smells different.
Break into the skunk exhibit and rub Mr. and Mrs. Skunk all over your body
and then paint yourself black and white and live together with them as a happy family.
Only then will you be truely free.
From the sex craved marketing schemes
that have taken the form of really large,
rather hairy, and rather deformed.
men.
...if they can even be called. "men" anymore.
2.21.2011
They all fall down.
Sometimes i like to breathe Oscar Meyer wieners out my nose.
Don't judge. It's the best way to prepare
a delicious meal for a party.
Snot makes the best garnish for your wiener.
Partying is special. A time to celebrate living.
Or if it's an ACTUAL occasion for once.
like groundhog day.
OR the invention of the furry flavored ice pop.
made from real groundhogs.
But we indulge into a social atmosphere and jerk our hips
back and forth to the heavy bass waves
singing "dance dance dance" to your bones.
Your wiggly little BONES.
Then a mad dog tries to get your bones.
You be like naaah, fuck that. MY bones stay
with me. Then you proceed to try and steal someone elses
bones.
Bones make up you. And they make up me.
Disassemble and rearrange and you have
JENGA! and everything will fall to the ground
because the original factory structure has been
illegally hacked and torn from the packaging and
put together by a bunch of inbreed monkey fish
that have only 2 eyes.
pff. the words that come out of some peoples mouths!
Lay off the drink, brah.
Milk that bong a little less.
Sterilize your syringe first.
And remember, happy thoughts always.
even if your jenga blocks fall down.
Personally i woulda punched the interviewer in the face and fed him those blocks one by one till he started pooping them out as fast as he was ingesting them. Making him a perpetual device. That'll be a good Guinness book world record.
Don't judge. It's the best way to prepare
a delicious meal for a party.
Snot makes the best garnish for your wiener.
Partying is special. A time to celebrate living.
Or if it's an ACTUAL occasion for once.
like groundhog day.
OR the invention of the furry flavored ice pop.
made from real groundhogs.
But we indulge into a social atmosphere and jerk our hips
back and forth to the heavy bass waves
singing "dance dance dance" to your bones.
Your wiggly little BONES.
Then a mad dog tries to get your bones.
You be like naaah, fuck that. MY bones stay
with me. Then you proceed to try and steal someone elses
bones.
Bones make up you. And they make up me.
Disassemble and rearrange and you have
JENGA! and everything will fall to the ground
because the original factory structure has been
illegally hacked and torn from the packaging and
put together by a bunch of inbreed monkey fish
that have only 2 eyes.
pff. the words that come out of some peoples mouths!
Lay off the drink, brah.
Milk that bong a little less.
Sterilize your syringe first.
And remember, happy thoughts always.
even if your jenga blocks fall down.
Personally i woulda punched the interviewer in the face and fed him those blocks one by one till he started pooping them out as fast as he was ingesting them. Making him a perpetual device. That'll be a good Guinness book world record.
2.19.2011
food for thought?
PALPITATIONS~
hooray!
bump bump goes that overbearing heart beat.
god are you gunna die?
FUCK FUCK
we gotta do everything we can before your heart decides to turn
into rancid onions.
(by the way, i can't eat onions. They make me gag)
Fresh flowers, you need flowers, in every orifice of your body.
You gotta turn yourself into that bouquet of beautiful MAN flowers,
or women flowers. But i like to think they are flowers already. MAN FLOWERS ALL THE WAY.
Inhale every thing that you were afraid to because it would shorten your life.
asbestos is at the top of the list, go to that old abandoned factory you live next door to and rip lines from the deteriorating walls. I want that nose of yours to BE the vacuum of the cleaning lady that doesn't speak English very well aka. the nicest person in the world.
Once you feel like you are dying, it will make dying easier, and you will have no hope. Because you know there is no chance because you have 50000 different things that cause cancer in your body by now.
die having fun, make your body hate you and turn to NOODLES before your very eyes.
You will be such a noodley mess when you hit your grave. They will strain your blood in an extra large colander and spread your sauce to all the little Italys in the world.
mmm, im hungry. are you?
hooray!
bump bump goes that overbearing heart beat.
god are you gunna die?
FUCK FUCK
we gotta do everything we can before your heart decides to turn
into rancid onions.
(by the way, i can't eat onions. They make me gag)
Fresh flowers, you need flowers, in every orifice of your body.
You gotta turn yourself into that bouquet of beautiful MAN flowers,
or women flowers. But i like to think they are flowers already. MAN FLOWERS ALL THE WAY.
Inhale every thing that you were afraid to because it would shorten your life.
asbestos is at the top of the list, go to that old abandoned factory you live next door to and rip lines from the deteriorating walls. I want that nose of yours to BE the vacuum of the cleaning lady that doesn't speak English very well aka. the nicest person in the world.
Once you feel like you are dying, it will make dying easier, and you will have no hope. Because you know there is no chance because you have 50000 different things that cause cancer in your body by now.
die having fun, make your body hate you and turn to NOODLES before your very eyes.
You will be such a noodley mess when you hit your grave. They will strain your blood in an extra large colander and spread your sauce to all the little Italys in the world.
mmm, im hungry. are you?
2.18.2011
It's at your door. what will you do?
Happy travels.
A con artist is at your doorstep.
what do you do?
Well, ill tell you a little something something.
RUN AWayayyayy!
for he is pretending to be your father.
He may look like him, talk like him. Have the same scars he did.
But this is not the father you had.
This can't be the father that died long ago.
So the only reasonable conclusion is a con artist trying to get your MONEY.
Don't believe his lies when he tries to convince you.
don't believe his remarkably convincing back story of why he is still alive.
GO in your kitchen, pick up the meat cleaver and start banging pots to freak him out. Start pulling your hair out and ripping off pieces of your clothes. let your eyes BUG out and your saliva drool. jump on the counter and try to air hump the light fixtures on the ceiling. Lick the backs of the knives and slide them erotically over your left nipple. Throw everything out of the fridge and onto the floors and devour them with no hands. Look up at his horrified face and scratch your nose, then continue what you were doing. Hopefully he won't approach. And just back away soo slowly, then suddenly dart off back to his highly waxed BMW.
Advice from your crazy neighbor, never felt so good.
A con artist is at your doorstep.
what do you do?
Well, ill tell you a little something something.
RUN AWayayyayy!
for he is pretending to be your father.
He may look like him, talk like him. Have the same scars he did.
But this is not the father you had.
This can't be the father that died long ago.
So the only reasonable conclusion is a con artist trying to get your MONEY.
Don't believe his lies when he tries to convince you.
don't believe his remarkably convincing back story of why he is still alive.
GO in your kitchen, pick up the meat cleaver and start banging pots to freak him out. Start pulling your hair out and ripping off pieces of your clothes. let your eyes BUG out and your saliva drool. jump on the counter and try to air hump the light fixtures on the ceiling. Lick the backs of the knives and slide them erotically over your left nipple. Throw everything out of the fridge and onto the floors and devour them with no hands. Look up at his horrified face and scratch your nose, then continue what you were doing. Hopefully he won't approach. And just back away soo slowly, then suddenly dart off back to his highly waxed BMW.
Advice from your crazy neighbor, never felt so good.
2.16.2011
Rabid fantasia.
So if you've actually been reading my posts.
You will know that I LOVE RACCOONS.
as much as i love cows.
One day, when i have enough money. I will build a lab with it's primary focus as genetically
fusing both a raccoon and a cow.
It will be called. the Raccow.
Now the Raccow will be different from BOTH it's parents.
It needs to breast feed every 20 min.
and it doesn't scavenge for garbage.
It scavanges for lost souls floating around
in random infinite abysses
that you may or may not have fallin into
during your life expirences.
It's super fast~
You can train them to become a vehicle to work.
All they need as fuel is your naughty thoughts,
so perverts THIS IS FOR YOU.
You will save the planet from Fossil fuel emissions!
and if anyone has a negative comment about you talking dirty to your raccow.
squirt the raccow's 20 gallon reserve of milk into their face!
BOOYA
You will know that I LOVE RACCOONS.
as much as i love cows.
One day, when i have enough money. I will build a lab with it's primary focus as genetically
fusing both a raccoon and a cow.
It will be called. the Raccow.
Now the Raccow will be different from BOTH it's parents.
It needs to breast feed every 20 min.
and it doesn't scavenge for garbage.
It scavanges for lost souls floating around
in random infinite abysses
that you may or may not have fallin into
during your life expirences.
It's super fast~
You can train them to become a vehicle to work.
All they need as fuel is your naughty thoughts,
so perverts THIS IS FOR YOU.
You will save the planet from Fossil fuel emissions!
and if anyone has a negative comment about you talking dirty to your raccow.
squirt the raccow's 20 gallon reserve of milk into their face!
BOOYA
2.15.2011
Pick yourself up, like leaves in the fall.
Watch out for cliff hangers.
They will pick you up,
and you'll never fall down.
That is, until you meet the conclusion within
yourself.
and you just give up.
Then you'll be dropped.
But not too fast.
Actually.
Pretty slow.
You'll float back down,
like a leaf or a petal,
Like you weigh
nothing.
However, once you hit the ground.
It won't be the same place you were before.
It'll be different. Changed.
Will you get back into your old swing?
Or find a newer, cooler swing?
Another beat to carry your step.
Maybe a slow thud of a bass line
bends yours knees,
and the snare of a drum
launches each step with a snap.
Once you have a groove,
change it up.
Play some trembly highs with your eyes.
Sway to those mid tones with your waist.
Fall in both directions,
and melt into the mix.
Your sight will dither,
You will get farther from reality with each step.
And maybe find something new.
Something awe inspiring.
Each step you take, farther into the beyond.
Will change you.
Don't be afraid,
if you know your steps are in the right direction.
Don't look back.
It'll slow you down.
You only have so much time.
Go for it.
Inspire.
They will pick you up,
and you'll never fall down.
That is, until you meet the conclusion within
yourself.
and you just give up.
Then you'll be dropped.
But not too fast.
Actually.
Pretty slow.
You'll float back down,
like a leaf or a petal,
Like you weigh
nothing.
However, once you hit the ground.
It won't be the same place you were before.
It'll be different. Changed.
Will you get back into your old swing?
Or find a newer, cooler swing?
Another beat to carry your step.
Maybe a slow thud of a bass line
bends yours knees,
and the snare of a drum
launches each step with a snap.
Once you have a groove,
change it up.
Play some trembly highs with your eyes.
Sway to those mid tones with your waist.
Fall in both directions,
and melt into the mix.
Your sight will dither,
You will get farther from reality with each step.
And maybe find something new.
Something awe inspiring.
Each step you take, farther into the beyond.
Will change you.
Don't be afraid,
if you know your steps are in the right direction.
Don't look back.
It'll slow you down.
You only have so much time.
Go for it.
Inspire.
2.14.2011
2.13.2011
It's hot in here.
I feel it wiggling in my stomach.
Oh my word it's a FLY,
A fly got trapped in my stomach you see!
It's traveling through my intestines!
EWWW IT CAME OUT MY BUTT.
and this is why flies hang around poo.
THEY ARE POO.
but.
IT'S AN EVOLUTIONARY TRAIT,
poo with wings > poo
Yay for evolution! What do you think will come next.
What would humans evolve into.
fang'd creatures?
Wingly Beasts?
A large advertisement for Wal Mart?
maybe, we will just become smarter.
Our brains will evolve, and we could see
problems as they are coming right at you.
Allowing you to side step DODGE that traffic
and cruise life in the fast lane.
Then we would have no pain, no more loss. No more issues.
Everything bad will be avoided.
And it will be just good.
everything will be good.
your shits, will be good.
too.
PEACE OUTTT
Oh my word it's a FLY,
A fly got trapped in my stomach you see!
It's traveling through my intestines!
EWWW IT CAME OUT MY BUTT.
and this is why flies hang around poo.
THEY ARE POO.
but.
IT'S AN EVOLUTIONARY TRAIT,
poo with wings > poo
Yay for evolution! What do you think will come next.
What would humans evolve into.
fang'd creatures?
Wingly Beasts?
A large advertisement for Wal Mart?
maybe, we will just become smarter.
Our brains will evolve, and we could see
problems as they are coming right at you.
Allowing you to side step DODGE that traffic
and cruise life in the fast lane.
Then we would have no pain, no more loss. No more issues.
Everything bad will be avoided.
And it will be just good.
everything will be good.
your shits, will be good.
too.
PEACE OUTTT
2.12.2011
Treat yourself to something nice.
Hellloo!
everyone.
I'm here to bring all your attention. The big sign with darty arrows IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
yea, that one. hm, signs like that would be quite...
I mean, just loook, at them!
youuuu know.
ha ha ha ha ha.
Well, drifting offf into outerspace. It's nice to drip down into the atmosphere every now and then. Just dip your feet. The ones you dance on, do that ratatapn'
all over the place. The ceiling! the WALLS! and possibly the floor? Only if you are rightside up in the head. Which i am not, you could say i'm a tad bit off my rocker.
But. why is that so bad? To be energetic in the things you like? well, i get a kick out of watching my mind dance and flutter to whooonoes. An empty space.
Deep meditation? Self realization? to spin the refracting lens on your perception?
Hmph, possible. But i don't know what's really up there.
OOOO
wouldn't it be cool if you looked up.
and.
say, everyone's thoughts.
slipping past each other.
In strands of characters and punctuation.
DNA strands, of our existence.
Even when we die.
Those thoughts. YOUR PERSONAL THOUGHTS.
still float around, in the endless web.
that is our,
existence.
Wow. Wooooahwaowoah. wow.
C'mon people, let me hear your heart pound strong. Flail your arms in discombobulated ways.
And say hi to the world.
In which the world, will smile back.
and.
Say how do you do?!
You yell. AJDFGSFAWAEUJDSAGHA.
World yells back. Me too. Me too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
happiness.
everyone.
I'm here to bring all your attention. The big sign with darty arrows IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
yea, that one. hm, signs like that would be quite...
I mean, just loook, at them!
youuuu know.
ha ha ha ha ha.
Well, drifting offf into outerspace. It's nice to drip down into the atmosphere every now and then. Just dip your feet. The ones you dance on, do that ratatapn'
all over the place. The ceiling! the WALLS! and possibly the floor? Only if you are rightside up in the head. Which i am not, you could say i'm a tad bit off my rocker.
But. why is that so bad? To be energetic in the things you like? well, i get a kick out of watching my mind dance and flutter to whooonoes. An empty space.
Deep meditation? Self realization? to spin the refracting lens on your perception?
Hmph, possible. But i don't know what's really up there.
OOOO
wouldn't it be cool if you looked up.
and.
say, everyone's thoughts.
slipping past each other.
In strands of characters and punctuation.
DNA strands, of our existence.
Even when we die.
Those thoughts. YOUR PERSONAL THOUGHTS.
still float around, in the endless web.
that is our,
existence.
Wow. Wooooahwaowoah. wow.
C'mon people, let me hear your heart pound strong. Flail your arms in discombobulated ways.
And say hi to the world.
In which the world, will smile back.
and.
Say how do you do?!
You yell. AJDFGSFAWAEUJDSAGHA.
World yells back. Me too. Me too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
happiness.
2.10.2011
Let's play a game.
Helllooooo!
Now we will do a fun activity.
Everyone take the biggest mistake you've
made in your life at this point.
Got it?
ok!
we are going to turn this into an
interactive game for children 4 and up!
Made from corrugated cardboard and glitter,
it will teach kids NEVER to fuck up like you have!
Without them even knowing it!
They will laugh and sing to your problem,
With their innocent little minds you are being
the wise one, in teaching them a wise lesson.
Example A:
"I took large amounts of CRACK. I love CRACK. I did CRACK
ALL the time with my CRACK head friends. Now all i feel is CRACK,
I have no emotion, and i twitch sporadically so i can't even jerk off
without banging my hand against the person sitting next to me in class!
Oh CRACK, my love, why are you so cruel! I can't even do multiplication
anymore as i just fill in CRACK for all the answers. I failed math, science,
English, Spanish, and even my origami class. My life is a pool of dribbling
stooopidity. Gosh, i should have done something besides CRACK, like
my homework."
-Life of a crackhead.
Now the game is simple. We build a board, color in some squares with glitter, have a few six sided die, then just throw in some game pieces made of CRACK. The children are 4 and up, so you don't have to worry about them ingesting anything. Lastly put some epic adventure tale and build creative cards corresponding to the spaces.
The game will be a riot! And thanks to classical "conditioning" the kids will indulge in the sense of feeling and seeing what CRACK is actually like! So when they grow older, and a crackhead tries to deal them crack, they will look at it and be like "NO WAY DUDE! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SELL ME GAME PIECES! you wack! stupid motherfuckin' con artist!" They will then proceed to kick the crackheads ass and take all his money.
So, if YOU want your child to be "street smart", and make some money on the side in order to support higher education. Treat them with a game of CRACK! They'll never go back!
Now we will do a fun activity.
Everyone take the biggest mistake you've
made in your life at this point.
Got it?
ok!
we are going to turn this into an
interactive game for children 4 and up!
Made from corrugated cardboard and glitter,
it will teach kids NEVER to fuck up like you have!
Without them even knowing it!
They will laugh and sing to your problem,
With their innocent little minds you are being
the wise one, in teaching them a wise lesson.
Example A:
"I took large amounts of CRACK. I love CRACK. I did CRACK
ALL the time with my CRACK head friends. Now all i feel is CRACK,
I have no emotion, and i twitch sporadically so i can't even jerk off
without banging my hand against the person sitting next to me in class!
Oh CRACK, my love, why are you so cruel! I can't even do multiplication
anymore as i just fill in CRACK for all the answers. I failed math, science,
English, Spanish, and even my origami class. My life is a pool of dribbling
stooopidity. Gosh, i should have done something besides CRACK, like
my homework."
-Life of a crackhead.
Now the game is simple. We build a board, color in some squares with glitter, have a few six sided die, then just throw in some game pieces made of CRACK. The children are 4 and up, so you don't have to worry about them ingesting anything. Lastly put some epic adventure tale and build creative cards corresponding to the spaces.
The game will be a riot! And thanks to classical "conditioning" the kids will indulge in the sense of feeling and seeing what CRACK is actually like! So when they grow older, and a crackhead tries to deal them crack, they will look at it and be like "NO WAY DUDE! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SELL ME GAME PIECES! you wack! stupid motherfuckin' con artist!" They will then proceed to kick the crackheads ass and take all his money.
So, if YOU want your child to be "street smart", and make some money on the side in order to support higher education. Treat them with a game of CRACK! They'll never go back!
Music hits me like an angry frat boy sometimes
I think i'm feeling it now, OH YEA
more moremoremoremoreee, right THERE
all around THERE
touch it please but don't be rough,
the play button can only take so much.
cause it's sensitive and if you do.
it will become raw and never talk to you.
and we don't want that. do we?
:D
Across The Universe. by Joe Baker the music man
Listen to my cover of Across the Universe by the Beatles! I've been meaning to cover this song for a long long time! It's just a quick demo at the moment, because i've been so busy, but enjoy!
Here's my Sound Cloud!
I have 2 other songs that i made in a land before time...it's preeettty coool. aha
more moremoremoremoreee, right THERE
all around THERE
touch it please but don't be rough,
the play button can only take so much.
cause it's sensitive and if you do.
it will become raw and never talk to you.
and we don't want that. do we?
:D
Across The Universe. by Joe Baker the music man
Listen to my cover of Across the Universe by the Beatles! I've been meaning to cover this song for a long long time! It's just a quick demo at the moment, because i've been so busy, but enjoy!
Here's my Sound Cloud!
I have 2 other songs that i made in a land before time...it's preeettty coool. aha
2.08.2011
Poetic exercise (vlog)
beware, of highlighter pink underwear
FOR MEN.
they eat your semen..
Everything after "giggly little worm" is improv! :D
FOR MEN.
they eat your semen..
Everything after "giggly little worm" is improv! :D
2.07.2011
Do you need senses to feel something real?
I’m going to a party, it’s in a city… a strange city I’m not familiar with. While walking around I see some familiar faces waiting by an old wooden door attached to a large brick wall. They knock a few times and are let in. I follow of course.
Inside is a small corridor leading to a set of windy stairs to the left. Straight ahead is a dining hall where it looks like someone is having a wedding recession. Well I take the stairs to the basement.
Down there I see more familiar faces and am instantly hit with a force that makes my body feel altered. There is music playing, but it isn’t something I heard before, it was completely original and seemed to emit from the walls.
Of course, for those who know me, music + me = dance. So I danced, danced to my heart’s content until someone said the cops were coming. How cliché, how overdone, I ran outside to see the commotion.
It was practically nothing and the owners of the place smooth talked or bribed the officer into leaving. I walked back into the side entrance and found myself in a different hallway. It was weird so I went back outside and I was absolutely positive this was the way I exited. The hallways had a bathroom with men shaving on one end. The other end looked to be a science convention, with a few old high school friends playing ping pong in lab coats. I exchanged some glances around the maze of creation and found no other way out.
I ventured outside again and contemplated using the front door. But as I approached the front steps, something ominous came over me. I decided the bad vibes were not something I wanted to deal with and again checked the side entrance.
Much to my surprise, the room changed completely. No more hallways, I was in a guitar exhibit from a museum. I scanned the guitars hung on the walls each with their own unique coloring. Two kids suddenly rushed in. One of them had a guitar cradled in his arms like a wounded solider. They approached a man with glasses, and he started to exam the guitar as if he was a doctor. The two kids looked scared, and overwhelmed at the situation.
Well, I as overwhelmed as they were. As I walked around I got a weirder sense of this world, the familiarity of my surroundings were combated with many strange oddities.
Makes you think sometimes --what DOES this all mean?
2.06.2011
A super beer
It's that time again,
the holiday where beer farts run rapid
throughout the whole country
reducing oxygen levels in the atmosphere
and allowing us to feel the natural
"high" we get when our brain cells
die from the deprived oxygen.
Pour some beer in your Cheerios
to make them "extra" cheery
Replace all shampoos and soups with
a fine cocktail of wine,vodka,rum,gin,tequila,whiskey,moonshine,absinthe, and of course.
More beer.
You will be transformed into that drink you crave,
Your liver will become your own distillery
and your piss will contain more alcohol than any other drink on the market,
The toilet bowl becomes a mixing bowl, have you and your buddies take turns
filling it up and then reroute the plumbing into your mouth,
to start the process all over again!
chug chug chug goes your heart trying to deliver every last bit of ethynol
to the eagerly awaiting cells, head to toe.
But sometimes too much is too much
and your friend becomes a foe
inwhich your body slams in reverse, and the momentum
carries everything you injest up and away,
and you close your eyes to only to open them,
another day.
-Cheers everybody, cheers.
the holiday where beer farts run rapid
throughout the whole country
reducing oxygen levels in the atmosphere
and allowing us to feel the natural
"high" we get when our brain cells
die from the deprived oxygen.
Pour some beer in your Cheerios
to make them "extra" cheery
Replace all shampoos and soups with
a fine cocktail of wine,vodka,rum,gin,tequila,whiskey,moonshine,absinthe, and of course.
More beer.
You will be transformed into that drink you crave,
Your liver will become your own distillery
and your piss will contain more alcohol than any other drink on the market,
The toilet bowl becomes a mixing bowl, have you and your buddies take turns
filling it up and then reroute the plumbing into your mouth,
to start the process all over again!
chug chug chug goes your heart trying to deliver every last bit of ethynol
to the eagerly awaiting cells, head to toe.
But sometimes too much is too much
and your friend becomes a foe
inwhich your body slams in reverse, and the momentum
carries everything you injest up and away,
and you close your eyes to only to open them,
another day.
-Cheers everybody, cheers.
2.05.2011
IM TIRED.
Farrr outtt, she said she said.
As she took me to her bed.
Under her bed were amusing things
lint and dirt, people that were once hurt,
dust bunnies from hell, ones that are not
so swell,
Speak to the little one on the right,
be careful of what you say, for you may be
in for a fight,
stand your ground. chin up high
(or low in this manner so you don't hit the ceiling of the bed)
Cripple the sun of a bitch and it will all go dark,
Soothe the loner and it will be alrite,
Overtime it will collect friends,
Reassure it this, and im sure you'll spend more time
under your own bed.
As she took me to her bed.
Under her bed were amusing things
lint and dirt, people that were once hurt,
dust bunnies from hell, ones that are not
so swell,
Speak to the little one on the right,
be careful of what you say, for you may be
in for a fight,
stand your ground. chin up high
(or low in this manner so you don't hit the ceiling of the bed)
Cripple the sun of a bitch and it will all go dark,
Soothe the loner and it will be alrite,
Overtime it will collect friends,
Reassure it this, and im sure you'll spend more time
under your own bed.
2.04.2011
Swimming in a sea, of brain wave simplicity.
I just love fridays,
it's a weird feeling, like AHHH I just took a big shit and something is gone,
something that needs to be filled up,
my fun meter?
uhuhuhuh! :D
I tend to deposit random objects in that void.
Dolphines are my number one target.
They feel funny when the swim around inside me.
Sometimes they have sex in certain body cavities that are off limits,
those darn dolphines, i gotta tame them.
Usually when they dance i dance,
They get into the tips of my fingers and swim forward pulling the rest of my body
in the same direction,
When they here a funny joke they tap my diaphragm and cause my lungs to convulse
in what we call laughing.
Sometimes they have bad gas and give me heartburn,
but it's ok, i love them anyway.
Whatever i injest, they do too.
Which explains a lot.
:)
Tame your inner dolphine! tame yo body, rock that shit, and don't talk to strangers with hairy hairy hands.
it's a weird feeling, like AHHH I just took a big shit and something is gone,
something that needs to be filled up,
my fun meter?
uhuhuhuh! :D
I tend to deposit random objects in that void.
Dolphines are my number one target.
They feel funny when the swim around inside me.
Sometimes they have sex in certain body cavities that are off limits,
those darn dolphines, i gotta tame them.
Usually when they dance i dance,
They get into the tips of my fingers and swim forward pulling the rest of my body
in the same direction,
When they here a funny joke they tap my diaphragm and cause my lungs to convulse
in what we call laughing.
Sometimes they have bad gas and give me heartburn,
but it's ok, i love them anyway.
Whatever i injest, they do too.
Which explains a lot.
:)
Tame your inner dolphine! tame yo body, rock that shit, and don't talk to strangers with hairy hairy hands.
2.03.2011
2.02.2011
Rumble rumble fart
MY TUMMY!
someone save my dear tummy.
It's pulling away, im going to have a hole there!
A black hole, or maybe a purple one. Are they customizable?
NO i must maintain concentration!
OHMMM OHMMM MEDITATIVE STANCE!
FLYING DRAGON WITH SCALES THAT BURN
like lemons in your eyes!
I am the lemon dragon!
full of lemons, full of despair.
Lemonade half off?
Ahem,
Welcome one and all to Joe's Nacho stand.
Fresh lemonade from dragons and fresh nachos
from our nacho plants deep in the heart of the U.S.
110% organic!
FEEL and SEE the nachos go through your body with our x-ray
toys given out in our nacho bags for kids!
Choose from the array of our radioactive colored sauces!
Some even i haven't tried yet, this gives you SUPER SUSPENSE IN EACH BITE
Beef or no beef? chicken? horse? Duck? Whale? Easter bunny?
Slam any type of meat in your mouth with those crispy chips
Don't forget to lick the tables clean! Plates are for barbarians!
Be served on the table, clean the table, and i won't have to hire a busboy again!
...Dammit i'm hungry.
someone save my dear tummy.
It's pulling away, im going to have a hole there!
A black hole, or maybe a purple one. Are they customizable?
NO i must maintain concentration!
OHMMM OHMMM MEDITATIVE STANCE!
FLYING DRAGON WITH SCALES THAT BURN
like lemons in your eyes!
I am the lemon dragon!
full of lemons, full of despair.
Lemonade half off?
Ahem,
Welcome one and all to Joe's Nacho stand.
Fresh lemonade from dragons and fresh nachos
from our nacho plants deep in the heart of the U.S.
110% organic!
FEEL and SEE the nachos go through your body with our x-ray
toys given out in our nacho bags for kids!
Choose from the array of our radioactive colored sauces!
Some even i haven't tried yet, this gives you SUPER SUSPENSE IN EACH BITE
Beef or no beef? chicken? horse? Duck? Whale? Easter bunny?
Slam any type of meat in your mouth with those crispy chips
Don't forget to lick the tables clean! Plates are for barbarians!
Be served on the table, clean the table, and i won't have to hire a busboy again!
...Dammit i'm hungry.
2.01.2011
Brain Toxicity.
...wait I felt this before
I feel like…
Like googoo gaga’s and unicorn farts
It’s quite intoxicating those unicorn farts.
Moving along, I thought of you.
of course, in a song
A song that plays in the back of my head
Well, to me it kinda said.
Crack goes the bell at dawn
when I wake up next to you
My dear little fawn.
But nonono it’s not the crack that you smoke
From the moment you toke
you know that you’re broke
Come to think of it maybe that’s life
Instead of expending energy,
Let’s smoke some crack
Then we will all be the same,
No more classes of popularity
And no more kingdoms for the rich
For we will all be crack heads.
I feel like…
Like googoo gaga’s and unicorn farts
It’s quite intoxicating those unicorn farts.
Moving along, I thought of you.
of course, in a song
A song that plays in the back of my head
Well, to me it kinda said.
Crack goes the bell at dawn
when I wake up next to you
My dear little fawn.
But nonono it’s not the crack that you smoke
From the moment you toke
you know that you’re broke
Come to think of it maybe that’s life
Instead of expending energy,
Let’s smoke some crack
Then we will all be the same,
No more classes of popularity
And no more kingdoms for the rich
For we will all be crack heads.
argghhh, pirate day is only one dubloon away!
And thus i give you this,
for he is one of my many heroes :P
for he is one of my many heroes :P
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