Weightlessness

High above,
the voices of everyday life.
In the stratosphere where it is calm, neutral.
Besides the lack of oxygen it's peaceful, a place where you mind can lounge against
bubbly little clouds.
The sun shines brighter here.
Almost blinding, you need sunglasses, but you left them down on earth.
aw fuck. haha.
Go down with the wind rushing in your face and pockets of air forming in the insides of your cheeks.
Stop yourself momentary to catch your breath, which seems to be lost amongst the vast volume of air that is all around you.
Lower yourself down and search for those damn glasses.
but you search and search and there are not to be found.
what gives, has someone stolen your prized glasses?
Find them and cut their legs off!
it's pirate season, and they can work the peg legs so don't feel guilty.
keep those legs as a prize in a pickle jar, next to your dead gram gram's ashes.
Your little house of trinkets will soon be a museum wonderland!
where you can charge little ones to expel there imagination onto the floors like vomit!

But remember, take a break in the sky once and a while, where it is whisper quiet and storms can easily avoided.

Bum ba chaaa! drums. drums. drums.
 or maybe a sexy sexy saxophone?

Beef chicken noodle stew.

Go around the merry machine
once, twice
three times
and puke puke puke,
puke out creativity until it
splatters all over the canvas of your
goals in life,
flash colorful chunks of to do's
and acidic dribble of mistakes
all onto one page.
let it cure, dry and heave it over
to the printing press and make
SO MANY COPIES
so many that your eyes will spin 360 degrees and
flash an image of what your subconscious
is really feeling.
gather all the copies quick,
before they dissolve with
the heat sensitive ink.
Believe me, you don't want to waste
all this time, in making yourself,
who you really are.

good ole' word vomit

It's hot in here.

I feel it wiggling in my stomach.
Oh my word it's a FLY,
A fly got trapped in my stomach you see!
It's traveling through my intestines!
EWWW IT CAME OUT MY BUTT.

and this is why flies hang around poo.
THEY ARE POO.
but.
IT'S AN EVOLUTIONARY TRAIT,
poo with wings > poo

Yay for evolution! What do you think will come next.
What would humans evolve into.
fang'd creatures?
Wingly Beasts?
A large advertisement for Wal Mart?
maybe, we will just become smarter.
Our brains will evolve, and we could see
problems as they are coming right at you.
Allowing you to side step DODGE that traffic
and cruise life in the fast lane.

Then we would have no pain, no more loss. No more issues.
Everything bad will be avoided.
And it will be just good.
everything will be good.
your shits, will be good.
too.

PEACE OUTTT

IM TIRED.

Farrr outtt, she said she said.
As she took me to her bed.
Under her bed were amusing things
lint and dirt, people that were once hurt,
dust bunnies from hell, ones that are not
so swell,

Speak to the little one on the right,
be careful of what you say, for you may be
in for a fight,
stand your ground. chin up high
(or low in this manner so you don't hit the ceiling of the bed)
Cripple the sun of a bitch and it will all go dark,
Soothe the loner and it will be alrite,
Overtime it will collect friends,
Reassure it this, and im sure you'll spend more time
under your own bed.

Swimming in a sea, of brain wave simplicity.

I just love fridays,
it's a weird feeling, like AHHH I just took a big shit and something is gone,
something that needs to be filled up,
my fun meter?
uhuhuhuh! :D

I tend to deposit random objects in that void.
Dolphines are my number one target.
They feel funny when the swim around inside me.
Sometimes they have sex in certain body cavities that are off limits,
those darn dolphines, i gotta tame them.
Usually when they dance i dance,
They get into the tips of my fingers and swim forward pulling the rest of my body
in the same direction,
When they here a funny joke they tap my diaphragm and cause my lungs to convulse
in what we call laughing.
Sometimes they have bad gas and give me heartburn,
but it's ok, i love them anyway.
Whatever i injest, they do too.
Which explains a lot.
:)

Tame your inner dolphine! tame yo body, rock that shit, and don't talk to strangers with hairy hairy hands.

You.

You know the time, when you can't decifier fact from, fact?

It's all just a blur, your mind concentrates on the empty space.

What's in that empty space?
Well, anything.

Anything that you can draw with those paintbrush receptors in your head.
A scene, a conflict, a song, a joke, a new scientific discovery.

It's all there you just have to make it.
Make it into something beautiful, something you can appreciate.
You are your hardest critic, so please yourself, and other reviews seem to matter far less.

Let go of any constraints you build yourself into.  Being boxed in like animals
being massproduced to feed our hungry gut of laziness is not something we're meant to do.

Be wild.
Be strong.
Be, someone who you can recogonize and say,
yes, this is who I am.

Something smells fishy...

IT'S TOTALLY FRIDAY! WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?

go out have a ball!  or two if you are a real man.

Now what governs your mind.  Do you have your own little king, sitting on a tiny control tower telling
the rest of the assembly to do the fuck as he says?

Or do you like to contemplate things more, maybe have a president and a couple of houses try and bat around
decisions and solutions.

Maybe it's more free thinking, like the fellow anarchist that just wants to do whatever. --and the hell with what everyone else thinks cause it's THEIR mind.

Whichever the case, none of these governing mental bodies can brace themselves from the underwater pressure that squeezes your internals so you choke on the inner membranes of the cell walls of your lungs.

That is why we should all grow gills, a fantastic FANTASTIC idea.

We could lift weights so much more efficiently, impress even the most muscle craving sexplosion into your arms.
OH, shit yea, what else? YOU HAVE RAINBOW SCALES?

what?  you can just rearrange them to your liking cause clothes cannot beat the beauty of being colorfully naked all the time.

Some people may call you princess, but with scales you can spell out princess and be the smelly snatch out of the bunch.

Never have a "dry" spell again! YOU ARE ALWAYS LUBERCATED BY OCEAN CURRENTS!

and you'll be exfoliated constantly by the the brush of tantalizing sea salt.

WHY THE FUCK DONT WE LIVE IN THE OCEAN?

The Elmers glue, a doorway to creativity.

sooooooo, anyway. how you are? what are you doing tonite?will that include a sac of watermellons?
And that sac being your boobs,
SO CAN I EAT YO WATTA MELLONS!?

im parched and need hydration from the lickity sweetness of the land of tits
or by god damn i'll throw a fit!

I'll whine and scream just like a child you wish you never had.
I'll throw my peas out the window and it will land on the newly fixed windshield,
broken by a previous bowl of mooshy fewd.


I'll run around and feed your cows, and yes i mean THOSE COWS.
The cows that are your tits, your beautiful utters that flomp around without support,
'less of course they are bit on the shy side and don't hang loose like a drunk senior citizen.
Then by all means show your mounds, the proud things you have found when you started
to develop hair under there.

Moving along pubic hair and such, what about the pimples some people never got, don't you wish you could
just flick yours off and onto their spotless face?  A little splatter art with puss and blood for those who know all too well what happens when you pop a serious "biggie".

But it's cool, you grow older and understand it all.  The birds and the bees become natural things like they always have been.  You live amongst flowery dreams and nestle in your own creativity.  You want to tell others what you have found, but they are so uptight and dreamless that they have lost what it really means.


don't be a fool, stay cool, cause that's all you.

Dirty talks from the Bathroom!

Bloggidittydo my god look at my poo!

it's rock hard, its sought after, its constipation all into one!
it's like coal, just something you could really mole.

For the time being, lets pretend that poo is priceless, a chemical reaction
the result from cooking your food twice, once on the stove and then reheated
in your metaboloven.

It gives me the jitters, it gives me a breath of relaxation
cept when the potty is dirty and mean
for one too many times have i seen it so obscene

piss and paper line the seat.
How could my butt ever meet?
Do i stand legs spread apart ready to drop bombs?
Or do i hunch over ready to throb?

Bathroom jokes are always funny and odd.
Someone making noises next to you like an animal.
Are you afraid of them crawling underneath the stall?
Or are you just worried about laughing your lungs out and choking on the smell.

Poo well my folks. poooooo well.

House of Dreams.

Remember when you were a child and you always wanted that home away from home?
To live amongst the tree people?
To bring that indoor outdoor carpet outside for once.

Remember when you got older and it started to get much smaller, stinky and waterlogged.

Remember when the roof flew off one windy day, hitting a squirrel and killing it?

Remember putting that squirrel on a stick and pretending it was a sword?

Remember that you have a paper due in 5 min and you shouldn't be remembering?

Day dreams,
Why? What? Of course, and but.
The avid day dreamer may look ditsy and oblivious.
But what goes on in that little cranial effort of theirs?

Are they undressing their teacher with their mind? One garment at a time?
Are they imagining their desk is the cockpit of a spaceship, ready to launch?
Is their brain convulsing, spitting out ideas of color and shrapnel of sounds?
Or is it just they did one too many drugs to keep a sane mind.

One too many brains to keep in line.

Multitasking? Or multiple issues.

Just sit tight, grab hold of something (real or not real) and take a ride somewhere, to the deepest reaches of your map-less mind.

Who knows what you will find?

You're fat.

You are fat.
What do you think about that?

We have to build cars bigger to haul your ass around.
Fit more food per cent you pay.

Make food come to you, so you don't have to come to it.

You are fat, give it up.
No exercise will make you lean,
For you will abandon it in time you'll see.

Desperation will overcome your life, as that haunting 3rd ass check
will make it seem.

Those jeans you want to wear again, will never see the light of day
and lay folded, tucked away.

You'll adapt, oh sure you will. When the pills and the practices all go to naught.
Along with everything you fought.

So sit back, lay down, take it easy, breathe out.
The television can bring all your information about.

Don't sweat, don't fret, there is always more.
Technology can bring everything to your door.

Can't score, don't worry there are others like you.
Sitting at home thinking about it too.

Do yourself a favor and log on the web,
get a new bed. You'll thank yourself in the end.

Buy the UnbrelloStop now and save yourself from the impending rain of obesity.

My name is Brain.

For now, I'll leave you with one post while you eat a piece of white bread toast.

It's a task that only the strongest may endeavor.
FIRST

PUT TOAST IN MOUTH

SECOND

CHEW SLOWLY SO THE GRANULATED BITS OF BLACK CRUNCH LIKE DIRT

THIRD

SMILE AT THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU

FOURTH

EAT THEIR HAPPINESS WITH YOUR SUPER POROUS BREAD LEECHING ABILITY

like that? That's how intense breakfast should be. Guaranteed to wake up even the most lethargic of the Sleepies.

Sleepies are what control your sleep cycle. They are actually teeny tiny ants that read dragon tales and wear lipstick to battle the Wakies in your mind.

SIDE NOTE:

Wakies are the white fuzzies that fly off of dandelions. Just in brain form.

This battle turns over night and day respectively. Surrendering to one side leads to abnormal behavior. You need that natural balance of violence that lives deep down under one of those brain wrinkles.

Eventually they will adapt the use of neurons to create a cavalry but this just speeds up the process of your death.

Yes, this epic war will eventually lead to your death. When neither side is able to continue the expel a toxin that shuts off your parts of your brain until your body is an immobile hunk of meat.

Treat the Wakies and the Sleepies well and you will have the most important aspect of time under your control.

A good time.

songofnonsense

You wake up, and you see her.
laying there beneath him.
Yes it is your girlfriend with another guy.

Say stop.
how did this all happen,
you did everything right
and nothing wrong

You do some research.

say what.
that guy has a piercing.
oh my god it's on his dick
oh shit...
a Prince Charles on his dick
Do you think she gives it a little flick?
Prince Charles and his dance with Queen Lick.

You reminisced about the good old times
how you were the captain of crimes
and she was just an innocent shipwrecked girl

its not your fault you both love Depp
And because of how you slept
The morning sex wasn't so great.
Nor was the afternoon.
Or the evening.
But occasionally drunk sex was the bomb.

So why is she cheating on you?
You certainly have no clue.
Should you change something about your dick?
Maybe act more like a prick?
Learn a fancy trick?
Or lay there like a brick.
Pretend to be sick?

It's criminal, it's obscene.
Why is everyone so mean.

Diets.

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH PICKLES IN YOUR DIET!
I don't care what anyone says.  I'm stubborn.
Run around in circles double fisting a pair of pickles and you will see things in a new light.

This light will be pickle green.  If you really enjoy this pickle green as much as i do then read further.

Pickles can be converted into energy efficient light bulbs, they radiate good vibes and sing you to sleep when unable to.

Pickle Green is the best color ever, other colors will be like...man i wish i was pickle green.

Pickles also double as a cleaning solvent when blended.  It will take care of everything.  From toughest of kitchen stains to the ugly birthmark on your forehead that kinddd of lookss liiiike... mutilated genitals.

Bored? put a pickle in one of your shoes and watch it grow into a clone of yourself!
(Disclaimer: they only have one leg though....)

IF you lick the pickles skin before eating it will change flavor.  From sour pickle to loving pickle.
 
I'll make a dance
put you in a trance
make you drool
in your school
dream about
care about
only pickles

foreever! MUHAHAHA

best master plan ever, pickle invasion here we come!

A little old dream from the dream bank.

So, I start in an aquarium, running around mad like a child in...well an aquarium. I'm with a few people and one of them starts to press his face up against the glass in awe. I tally-ho on over there and find myself entranced by these weird mechanical looking sea caterpillars. They were wearing suits of armor with a limey glow at the seams. They swam around with a glowing organic prop as well. I could see why my friend looked like such a space cadet.

Things shifted a bit and i now I was in this expansive lobby with John Lennon and some scientists. They were showing how to decontaminate ourselves with their fancy machinery. They turn to me and aim the machine at my direction. Apparently the decontamination takes off your clothes so i found myself a bit naked.

Over on the other side of the room the rest of the "Beatles" were laughing and exchanging phrases that always ended in a short "yeh" instead of a period. Drifting off there was a pretty woman walking around smoking a cigarette. Apparently she was with all of us.

So anyway i finally decide to put on some clothes. While buttoning up my shirt find these little bits of paper stuck all over my body like i just covered myself in honey and jumped in a recycling bin. Cept i wasn't sticky... I try to pull a few off and they multiply. I start to frantically run while attempting to remove them all before they consume me. John Lennon just laughs and tells me to get in the car and the papers dissolve.

In the car I lean over and ask the woman for a smoke. She pauses then agrees. I woke up right after.

Seemed like a normal dream to me.
-Cheers

Mmm. tasty.

Can you imagine?

That the sky and the moon

The birds and the trees

The tree tops and the roots

And the little homes in the underbrush we flock to

All gone in a second?

A flash

A yellow haze

Everything is melting, everything is burning

Cell walls burst

Blood vessels corrode

The brain is fried

Then blackness consumes

The dark prevails

But is there still consciousness in the dark?

Are there… feelings, sounds, waves, anything about?

Or were they all obliterated too?

You can only imagine, right?

I say a what what, to the rocks shaped like rocks, and to the air smelling like elephant cheese

Oh please oh please, totally request live radio station.
Air me Air me! Shoot me into the Air!
I wanna ride on those poorly drawn squiggles kids would call radio waves!
Seep into your into your transistor radio
Get pulled and pinched, thrown and battered
Then i'll drip through the speaker mesh and ooze into the room space
Knock your diaphragm up and squeeze your lungs all bare.

Because i can move you.

My WTF dream of the week.

So I had an incredible dream about something called "Rising Day" which was a bunch of children being abducted and then undergoing some strange process.  After so they were placed in HUGE pool equally spaced apart on their backs with people monitoring them.  The only way i knew it was a dream was because i slid on my belly like a penguin on the side of the pool for thousands of feet without stopping.  This is where i got to see all the kids spanned across like crops being planted in a field.  Anyway, on rising day they will all float up to the sky.  It was created by some philosophical extremist.  I wandered around the facility, then stumbled into the FBI (or whatever the military personal they were) infiltrating the premises.  I described where some of the newly abducted children were being held because i heard their screams for help as i walked by earlier.  I got in an elevator at one point and one kid wanted to get off at floor 9 which was actually one of the dorms at my college.  He was a strange one.  Anyway i road it down to level 3 and got to a liquid nitrogen room and escaped through a hatch a worker kindly let me through.  A worker outside of the hatch somehow tripped inside and died from the exposure.  I was also nearly killed from the exposure and i could feel my leg numbing at the last few moments.   I felt like i was in some epic feature film, and didn't cost me 11 bucks!

Booya~