A friday short

So i keep having a reoccuring dream.
that my brain will dissolve and spill onto the floor
leaving a messy goo
that will transform into a raccoon.

reincarnation.

The end of the world

so you guys really think the world will end?
how will it end?
will the earth shrivel into a raisin and just fall off of orbit?
how about the earth's crust is eaten by a big ugly vagina space monster
that makes the girl in "Teeth" look like a joke.
Or how about the ground turns to quicksand and we are all sucked into
the hot mantel of the earth and all burned in the hot tub of what appears to be.
hell?
shit only way to be saved is to invest in my new shoe.
the Pegasus shoe.
is that already coined?
FUCK.
well, vibrating insoles are on sale too and they are just as pleasurable
for those with an itch for a foot fetish.

Nono, the earth will be hit by a giant tennis racket and flung into the sun!
oh! we will be invaded by aliens and cowboys, and will be doomed to living in the old west forever.
i'd say that's be the end of the world.

or. we all. run out. of toilet. paper.

mmm, maybe. MAYBE.
Mars will be like. fuck you earth and decided to kamikaze us, because of all our irrational thinking and massive amounts of body odor that is emitted into space from our sweatshops and workout chambers.

onomnom a giant gorilla will drink our oceans up and then replace it with its piss, mutating all our whales into..

MAN EATING LAND WHALES.

well, however the world will end, whenever the world will end.
be sure to pack a second pair of underwear.
in case you shit yourself, because no one wants soiled underwear in their afterlife.

and now, a message from our sponsors.

we see you

And Here Are 50 Reasons Why The World Is Definitely Ending On Saturday

happy end of the world?

Oh man, oh shit, oh wow

we are watching you

Just had to do it. 

Rabid fantasia.

So if you've actually been reading my posts.
You will know that I LOVE RACCOONS.
as much as i love cows.

One day, when i have enough money.  I will build a lab with it's primary focus as genetically
fusing both a raccoon and a cow.

It will be called. the Raccow.
Now the Raccow will be different from BOTH it's parents.
It needs to breast feed every 20 min.
and it doesn't scavenge for garbage.
It scavanges for lost souls floating around
in random infinite abysses
that you may or may not have fallin into
during your life expirences.
It's super fast~
You can train them to become a vehicle to work.
All they need as fuel is your naughty thoughts,
so perverts THIS IS FOR YOU.
You will save the planet from Fossil fuel emissions!

and if anyone has a negative comment about you talking dirty to your raccow.
squirt the raccow's 20 gallon reserve of milk into their face!
 BOOYA