Happy travels.
A con artist is at your doorstep.
what do you do?
Well, ill tell you a little something something.
RUN AWayayyayy!
for he is pretending to be your father.
He may look like him, talk like him. Have the same scars he did.
But this is not the father you had.
This can't be the father that died long ago.
So the only reasonable conclusion is a con artist trying to get your MONEY.
Don't believe his lies when he tries to convince you.
don't believe his remarkably convincing back story of why he is still alive.
GO in your kitchen, pick up the meat cleaver and start banging pots to freak him out. Start pulling your hair out and ripping off pieces of your clothes. let your eyes BUG out and your saliva drool. jump on the counter and try to air hump the light fixtures on the ceiling. Lick the backs of the knives and slide them erotically over your left nipple. Throw everything out of the fridge and onto the floors and devour them with no hands. Look up at his horrified face and scratch your nose, then continue what you were doing. Hopefully he won't approach. And just back away soo slowly, then suddenly dart off back to his highly waxed BMW.
Advice from your crazy neighbor, never felt so good.
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