Have you ever found yourself digging into your parents past belongs only to find something that screams "perfect" for you??
I've been doing some treasure hunting myself for such items. You don't have to pay for these objects and they have a bit of related history woven into them. Win-win am I right?
In my findings, I came across an awesome coat. It's a bit of a fixer upper with some missing buttons and accessories but it is do-able. It is my size and is exactly what I've been looking for to keep me snug and suave against the chilly city air I will be encountering on New Years Eve (That's right I'll be partying it up in NYC this year!). "Cheers big ears!" As my old friend Nick would say. So now, I'm prepared to be stranded somewhere at an odd hour clenching a hidden champagne glass close while being as toasty as a sheep in a microwave-oven.
It's funny how much thought and consideration goes into one night of partying. Least for me, I don't get out much. I'm bound to a keyboard, guitar, or my pillow. Who needs friends right?
I do...
Going back to my new discovery, I wonder why my parents are not wearing such awesome looking coats and garments anymore? Is this a phase that they went through at my age? The age of expedition to find a voice and to dress to swoon the audience? Well, I hope a volcano rockets me into space before I become old and attain a lackluster appeal towards my own appearance.
But it makes me think, if this coat fits me so well now as it did for my father; what happened when he got older? And will I progress in a similar way? DADS SHOULD NOT WEAR TENNIS SHOES TO THE BEACH —I'M SORRY.
To the future me:
If you are reading this reminiscing on how awesome you are. Please tell me that you are not wearing tennis shoes to such areas. If you are, this is obviously a parallel timeline in-which i grew up to be a shoobie.
Regards,
Past-Joe
Oh, and here is a video of my brother making "jack'd frost" the athletically built snowman after his daily run. Watch till the end for pictures of the end result!
12.19.2013
12.12.2013
The Personality of Cities
I was strolling along Manhattan the other day in the wrong direction, as usual. The snow was beating against my sad, limp excuse for an umbrella as i used it to shield my face from the headwind. I got lost in China town again, and I managed to use the most unnecessarily expensive route via the subway because every time I thought I was close to my destination I got off only to realize that I was far as fuck.
But like any city I'm not accustomed to, the transportation becomes muscle memory with routine use. This is assuming I have muscles (I hardly believe it myself, but I do!). During my stay in Tokyo, I noticed the city was planned out with various side streets that led to more side streets on the sides of streets. You can gain your bearings pretty easily for routes you frequent. But— that is only a select few areas. I've wandered over 4 hours through Tokyo suburbs at night following the wrong set of train tracks with a beer and cigarette to light my way. I considered sleeping in a playground and feared i would startle locals in the area. Luckily, I scrounged up some broken Japanese to ask a police officer standing outside his outpost how to get home. He put his guard up when I approached him initially until he realized I was lost and trying to get home. He proceeded to happily pull out a map and gave me directions (THAT I UNDERSTOOD!). And the second time, well, I don't know why I thought I knew where I was going after my first journey. This was the flaw of going out in a city that shuts down their trains in the early hours of the next day.
There is also another thing that brews in highly populated areas, and that is the strange. Maybe not necessarily strange —more different. It seems that it is in human nature to try and prove one's unique ability; ranging from, the ostentatious fashion to the projecting personality. Some people seem to dislike being categorized as ants buzzing around doing ant things.
Or cat things
That being said, I am one of those people (not a master cat trainer unfortunately). I desperately try to stand out otherwise I have this gut feeling of being lost inside humanity. I don't want to be a grain of sand in the hourglass, I want to be the one staring at it from the outside. This is why i love to create. It is an ability to say "Hey i'm something" and even if it is a small something... it's better than nothing.
However, not everyone wants to show off. Introverts exist in the background of all our lives. They peacefully try to co-exist in-between the big acts. Carefully crafting their own little worlds for themselves to live in.
Do I think everyone needs to prove something? No, not unless they want to prove something. I have my own reasons for doing what I do. Don't you?
It is up to all of us to lead our own lives. I think the biggest thing I've learned by living is that...you should be living for whatever it is you enjoy. Not what someone else enjoys, not what you "should" enjoy, but what makes your face flicker in content and passion. Even if that means letting cats perch upon your head in public.
-Joe
But like any city I'm not accustomed to, the transportation becomes muscle memory with routine use. This is assuming I have muscles (I hardly believe it myself, but I do!). During my stay in Tokyo, I noticed the city was planned out with various side streets that led to more side streets on the sides of streets. You can gain your bearings pretty easily for routes you frequent. But— that is only a select few areas. I've wandered over 4 hours through Tokyo suburbs at night following the wrong set of train tracks with a beer and cigarette to light my way. I considered sleeping in a playground and feared i would startle locals in the area. Luckily, I scrounged up some broken Japanese to ask a police officer standing outside his outpost how to get home. He put his guard up when I approached him initially until he realized I was lost and trying to get home. He proceeded to happily pull out a map and gave me directions (THAT I UNDERSTOOD!). And the second time, well, I don't know why I thought I knew where I was going after my first journey. This was the flaw of going out in a city that shuts down their trains in the early hours of the next day.
There is also another thing that brews in highly populated areas, and that is the strange. Maybe not necessarily strange —more different. It seems that it is in human nature to try and prove one's unique ability; ranging from, the ostentatious fashion to the projecting personality. Some people seem to dislike being categorized as ants buzzing around doing ant things.
Or cat things
That being said, I am one of those people (not a master cat trainer unfortunately). I desperately try to stand out otherwise I have this gut feeling of being lost inside humanity. I don't want to be a grain of sand in the hourglass, I want to be the one staring at it from the outside. This is why i love to create. It is an ability to say "Hey i'm something" and even if it is a small something... it's better than nothing.
However, not everyone wants to show off. Introverts exist in the background of all our lives. They peacefully try to co-exist in-between the big acts. Carefully crafting their own little worlds for themselves to live in.
Do I think everyone needs to prove something? No, not unless they want to prove something. I have my own reasons for doing what I do. Don't you?
It is up to all of us to lead our own lives. I think the biggest thing I've learned by living is that...you should be living for whatever it is you enjoy. Not what someone else enjoys, not what you "should" enjoy, but what makes your face flicker in content and passion. Even if that means letting cats perch upon your head in public.
-Joe
12.05.2013
Commuter Daze
The other night I stepped outside to go to work dressed like
I sheared a herd of alpacas and rolled around their fur covered in honey. Only to notice, how astonishingly warm it was
out. IT IS TIME TO BREAK OUT THE JORTS
(which, if you Google, will lead you to a pretty established hate group).
My commute is not grand as others. It is in fact boring and littered with
fond police folk. Yet, on cold days it
seems I have to either bring along my bedding or utilize the hover method to
keep my ass from freezing to the decaying thing, once called a leather seat, beneath me. For those who don’t know
the hover method, think of a dirty public toilet.
My plan was pretty foolproof. Cold days became more of a
routine manner. I wake-up, dress, grab lunch, brew choice of hot beverage and then
go! Sometimes, I’ll also have a hot minute to
evaluate my life in the mirror but then disregard it all because OH MY GOD WHY
THE FUCK AM I STILL GETTING ACNE. And I spite
the little red bastard by shaking my angry fist at it. It responds by throbbing and I lose. Anyway,
the routine was foolproof aside from
the fact that I do not own a travel mug and I rather make my life as difficult
as possible by driving stick shift with a piping hot coffee clenched between my
thighs. Yes, I’ve spilled numerous times on
myself. Only dribbles here and there. It was never as bad as when I dropped an entire cup as I sat down one cold evening and my entire thigh region lit up in
a vapor of steaming hot coffee. I did
not know those tones of pain could be articulated by my mouth, but I continue
to surprise myself.
This brings me to a point of reflection. Am I stupid for repeating this same action
over and over again even though it has literally burnt me enough times that I should spend 2$ for a travel sized mug? Or is this a metaphor for my dream-chaser
attitude in life? Is this why the government can't pass needed laws or amends? Or am I just expanding
this issue so it doesn’t sound like I’m too lazy to buy myself a mug? Maybe mugs will be my priority when I’m 30.
So, my question for you to think about:
Is there something you've always intended to attain, and have the
means of doing so, but never ever
get around to it?
Because if you are lost, those are the best presents (not
that I’m insinuating you to get me a travel mug, but…that would actually be nice!)
-Joe
11.28.2013
Sleeping Relations
I love to nap like a cat under the warm sun. And why not? Sleep is something we all have to do eventually.
But sleep and I share an interesting relationship.
I recall this blossoming around the middle school era. The time when I thought my decisions were for my better advancement through the grade ladder. Well, as soon as I adapted a decent internet connection I was sucked into the void.
This void is a time when you are on a computer and you fall into an inter-dimensional rift that holds your mind in stasis. The world drifts on while you meander in the never-ending possibilities of the digital spectrum. Windows 98 was my prehistoric matrix. I chose the red pill and was plunged into the digital expressway (with some pretty informational diagrams of the female autonomy).
Putting my pubescent hormones aside, I dipped my toes in more often until my body was consumed. My relationship with sleep was severed and I ignored its calls to go to bed as my eyes bestowed a shade of red hovering over black puddles of exhaustion.
Many of my friends knew I didn't sleep and my girlfriend at the time would joke over my lifeless fatigue. Somehow, I managed to function during my daily tasks. And also, somehow my energy was restored by shrouding the room in monitor light. I had become a nerd. Intrigued in this world, upgrading the box I used to access it, diagnosing problems and online shopping for my dreams.
I used to watch old Blink-182 skits/homevideos on this site called "YouTube" when it was still a minuet video exchange, compared to the colossal information hub it has transformed into.
Oh sleep? I still got it. On the bus ride to school and when my body shut down at 3pm when i arrived home.
Then there was coffee. This drug-in-a-cup prolonged my ability to fend off the increasing impatient sleep gravity that weighed me down. Once i started working at an After-school Program my afternoon reboot was invaded and i had to replace it with a hundred kids and coffee. Impressively, i managed quite well by absorbing the children's energy like a walking solar panel(I like to think that's how it works).
It only escalates further in college, the anti-sleep institution. When do social interactions take place? nearly 24/7 with a slight taper on the hangover period from 5-9am. But that's okay you can just sleep OH WAIT 30 PAGE PAPER DUE IN A FEW DAYS. Ok-ok, sleep today then —TOO BAD, you've written 2 sentences of your 30 pages, you have to finish a book, stare at pie-chart of human ethics and social behavior for 2 hrs, then study for your genetics exam. Then, you realize it's Friday. All your friends are going out and for a split second you contemplate in your mind what is more fun...You always have Sunday right?
Coffee can no longer support you without side effects. Gyrating stomach pains, from accumulated acidity, become more prevalent.
So, we enter the realm of Red Bull and Adderall because sleep is for the meek.
It is only now that I'm relinquishing my past neglect of sleep —it only took a decade. Sleep is a wonderful part of me. I want to sleep and dream all the time! Experimenting with sleep cycles is fun! Just take a look at the natural expert Max-the-dog. He will sleep all day and wake up to bark at the mail-man, eat, and poop. He couldn't give two shits of what's going on outside his territory, long as he got the basics.
What a life!
What is your relationship with sleep?
Love, Best friends, Strangers, Complicated?
-Joe
But sleep and I share an interesting relationship.
I recall this blossoming around the middle school era. The time when I thought my decisions were for my better advancement through the grade ladder. Well, as soon as I adapted a decent internet connection I was sucked into the void.
This void is a time when you are on a computer and you fall into an inter-dimensional rift that holds your mind in stasis. The world drifts on while you meander in the never-ending possibilities of the digital spectrum. Windows 98 was my prehistoric matrix. I chose the red pill and was plunged into the digital expressway (with some pretty informational diagrams of the female autonomy).
Putting my pubescent hormones aside, I dipped my toes in more often until my body was consumed. My relationship with sleep was severed and I ignored its calls to go to bed as my eyes bestowed a shade of red hovering over black puddles of exhaustion.
Many of my friends knew I didn't sleep and my girlfriend at the time would joke over my lifeless fatigue. Somehow, I managed to function during my daily tasks. And also, somehow my energy was restored by shrouding the room in monitor light. I had become a nerd. Intrigued in this world, upgrading the box I used to access it, diagnosing problems and online shopping for my dreams.
I used to watch old Blink-182 skits/homevideos on this site called "YouTube" when it was still a minuet video exchange, compared to the colossal information hub it has transformed into.
Oh sleep? I still got it. On the bus ride to school and when my body shut down at 3pm when i arrived home.
Then there was coffee. This drug-in-a-cup prolonged my ability to fend off the increasing impatient sleep gravity that weighed me down. Once i started working at an After-school Program my afternoon reboot was invaded and i had to replace it with a hundred kids and coffee. Impressively, i managed quite well by absorbing the children's energy like a walking solar panel(I like to think that's how it works).
It only escalates further in college, the anti-sleep institution. When do social interactions take place? nearly 24/7 with a slight taper on the hangover period from 5-9am. But that's okay you can just sleep OH WAIT 30 PAGE PAPER DUE IN A FEW DAYS. Ok-ok, sleep today then —TOO BAD, you've written 2 sentences of your 30 pages, you have to finish a book, stare at pie-chart of human ethics and social behavior for 2 hrs, then study for your genetics exam. Then, you realize it's Friday. All your friends are going out and for a split second you contemplate in your mind what is more fun...You always have Sunday right?
Coffee can no longer support you without side effects. Gyrating stomach pains, from accumulated acidity, become more prevalent.
So, we enter the realm of Red Bull and Adderall because sleep is for the meek.
It is only now that I'm relinquishing my past neglect of sleep —it only took a decade. Sleep is a wonderful part of me. I want to sleep and dream all the time! Experimenting with sleep cycles is fun! Just take a look at the natural expert Max-the-dog. He will sleep all day and wake up to bark at the mail-man, eat, and poop. He couldn't give two shits of what's going on outside his territory, long as he got the basics.
What a life!
What is your relationship with sleep?
Love, Best friends, Strangers, Complicated?
-Joe
11.21.2013
The cold makes my nose cry and my toes die
I often wonder why fathers dislike turning up the heat during the winter. It seems to be a common trend. I also have the fear that I may become the same person one day. But why? I am here miserably tapping at my keyboard from the quaking shivers of harsh cold. I'm wrapped in a jacket and thick fleece pajamas that i can't escape from. WHY would i want anyone else to suffer this frigid air? Now i understand there are people far worse than i am, but even after undergoing an energy-efficient upgrade to this home it has yielded no change in the thermostat besides a new way to display the freezing temperature. My room is starting to render the 50's and it is not coming from my guitar or my plaid pants.
Perhaps it is because my father is from Wisconsin. Though, being a loving father and great husband, he should understand that his wife, my mother, is from the Philippines. That is an island —WITH MANGOES. To my understanding, this is why I desire wooly objects to encompass my entire body; otherwise, my extremities will pop off like Mr. Potato Head. That being said, i have misplaced my other alpaca blessed mitten and it is really a cause for alarm when it's starting to reach below 30 out there. If anyone would rent me a personnel Alpaca for the colder seasons let me know! The portability (it has legs) and size to warmth ratio compared to its older sibling the Llama is fantastic. Not to mention it's a wonderful conversation starter:
As I lay miserably in the comfort of my parents home I wonder if i will truly ever understand them...or myself.
-Joe
Perhaps it is because my father is from Wisconsin. Though, being a loving father and great husband, he should understand that his wife, my mother, is from the Philippines. That is an island —WITH MANGOES. To my understanding, this is why I desire wooly objects to encompass my entire body; otherwise, my extremities will pop off like Mr. Potato Head. That being said, i have misplaced my other alpaca blessed mitten and it is really a cause for alarm when it's starting to reach below 30 out there. If anyone would rent me a personnel Alpaca for the colder seasons let me know! The portability (it has legs) and size to warmth ratio compared to its older sibling the Llama is fantastic. Not to mention it's a wonderful conversation starter:
As I lay miserably in the comfort of my parents home I wonder if i will truly ever understand them...or myself.
-Joe
10.24.2013
9.04.2013
Musical Update
Been working on some new music recently. If you're really really into mediocre music. This is not for you. Or is it? Greatness starts somewhere people.
8.05.2013
5 Numbers of motivation
Doesn't life seem to fly by you like a barrage of missiles with no navigation?
Well here are some easy steps for self recognition and advice to make you leap through the air like an antelope with a jet-pack:
1. Don't isolate yourself. I mean, even the most anti social people need some socialization. There are occasions when it's good for a little 1 on 1 time with yourself, but you can only develop so much with a single influence. It's like what if you stayed in your basement all your life and taught yourself everything there is to know. You could be a genius, but where is the conflict? Where are the multiple perspective influence you gain from interactions. Your gestures will be akin to not dealing with the real world, you will become more and more awkward as the world continually spins while yours is at a stand still. The worse thing is, you are getting older in a stagnant space before you realize it you will lose the most important experiences to yourself. If you let your brain and talents remain unheard of then you should probably give it to someone who would die to act on those qualities you hoard away.
2. There is more than one thing. Too many people are becoming driven to only one focus in their lives. While drive is great, it can also become reckless. You cannot shut out everything in your life. If life was just getting a job things would be simple. Or if your dream was to own a nice home that would be nice. But it is not just about that. You need to balance everything that goes on in your life carefully. Otherwise you will start to losing the things that made you for who are, and what you will become? Do you wanna look back 10 years from now and be able to sum up what you did in a small paragraph? Or do you want the experience to overflow like an unorganized memoir of your life from your closet door. In order to have stories to tell, you need to make them happen. If Hemingway only wrote one book as his life's work would he still be talked about to this day? You are the author of your own story, and its not just one book, but a volume of vignettes condensed and cluttered without the bindings to hold the pages in place.
3. You're Beautiful. This is obvious. And it is something you shouldn't have to over analyze to understand. Too many times i see people cringe at their own bodies, their faces, their hair, the damn spec on their arm. You are a living breathing human being capable of limitless boundaries set by your mind. Your biggest enemy is the self. You are the one who sets these boundaries and only you can break them apart. Flaunt what you have, embrace yourself to show self affection, and scream i'm fucking beautiful while you brush your teeth. The sooner you recognize your uniqueness and how your mind and body is a gift to this world, the less things you have to worry about so you can focus on what really counts.
4. One step at a time. People tend to rush things. They see the green light and the peddle is to the floor. Going fast makes you miss opportunities, creating a blur of the scene-scape. Take a break and grab a snack, you don't know who or what you will encounter during that pit stop. Leave the keys in the car to tell yourself not to get stuck there though. I heard gas stations are not the most gratifying environment to blossom your ideas and dreams. You want a pace that isn't too fast and isn't too slow. Allow yourself to take in and take off. Life never stops moving forward, and neither should you.
5. Enjoy you. If you have something you've always wanted to do. Now is the time to do it. You cannot put these ideas off "for later" because they will be forgotten. The more you push your dreams away the higher they float away. Don't let them fall back down as regret. Regret hurts and you can't travel back in time to fix it. You will soon see your life head in a direction of satisfactory because you didn't act now. Don't sit in denial and tell yourself "it will be ok" to make yourself feel better. MAKE IT OK. Then and only then will things be truly "ok".
Remember, love yourself once. Love everyone twice.
Well here are some easy steps for self recognition and advice to make you leap through the air like an antelope with a jet-pack:
1. Don't isolate yourself. I mean, even the most anti social people need some socialization. There are occasions when it's good for a little 1 on 1 time with yourself, but you can only develop so much with a single influence. It's like what if you stayed in your basement all your life and taught yourself everything there is to know. You could be a genius, but where is the conflict? Where are the multiple perspective influence you gain from interactions. Your gestures will be akin to not dealing with the real world, you will become more and more awkward as the world continually spins while yours is at a stand still. The worse thing is, you are getting older in a stagnant space before you realize it you will lose the most important experiences to yourself. If you let your brain and talents remain unheard of then you should probably give it to someone who would die to act on those qualities you hoard away.
2. There is more than one thing. Too many people are becoming driven to only one focus in their lives. While drive is great, it can also become reckless. You cannot shut out everything in your life. If life was just getting a job things would be simple. Or if your dream was to own a nice home that would be nice. But it is not just about that. You need to balance everything that goes on in your life carefully. Otherwise you will start to losing the things that made you for who are, and what you will become? Do you wanna look back 10 years from now and be able to sum up what you did in a small paragraph? Or do you want the experience to overflow like an unorganized memoir of your life from your closet door. In order to have stories to tell, you need to make them happen. If Hemingway only wrote one book as his life's work would he still be talked about to this day? You are the author of your own story, and its not just one book, but a volume of vignettes condensed and cluttered without the bindings to hold the pages in place.
3. You're Beautiful. This is obvious. And it is something you shouldn't have to over analyze to understand. Too many times i see people cringe at their own bodies, their faces, their hair, the damn spec on their arm. You are a living breathing human being capable of limitless boundaries set by your mind. Your biggest enemy is the self. You are the one who sets these boundaries and only you can break them apart. Flaunt what you have, embrace yourself to show self affection, and scream i'm fucking beautiful while you brush your teeth. The sooner you recognize your uniqueness and how your mind and body is a gift to this world, the less things you have to worry about so you can focus on what really counts.
4. One step at a time. People tend to rush things. They see the green light and the peddle is to the floor. Going fast makes you miss opportunities, creating a blur of the scene-scape. Take a break and grab a snack, you don't know who or what you will encounter during that pit stop. Leave the keys in the car to tell yourself not to get stuck there though. I heard gas stations are not the most gratifying environment to blossom your ideas and dreams. You want a pace that isn't too fast and isn't too slow. Allow yourself to take in and take off. Life never stops moving forward, and neither should you.
5. Enjoy you. If you have something you've always wanted to do. Now is the time to do it. You cannot put these ideas off "for later" because they will be forgotten. The more you push your dreams away the higher they float away. Don't let them fall back down as regret. Regret hurts and you can't travel back in time to fix it. You will soon see your life head in a direction of satisfactory because you didn't act now. Don't sit in denial and tell yourself "it will be ok" to make yourself feel better. MAKE IT OK. Then and only then will things be truly "ok".
Remember, love yourself once. Love everyone twice.
7.03.2013
Chain Reaction
that.
People snuggle in comfort.
There are plenty of comfortable things.
And each is unique to the possesor
What's comfortable to you?
A chair?
A rainbow rhino that lives in the artic?
A trapazoid?
Sitting in a car.
Sitting with the bus.
Sitting on your friend.
Sharp objects?
Do cooks find comfort with their knives?
Knives are tools with the ability to create or destroy.
An interesting predicament.
Are humans like knives?
Or are knives like us because we created them?
Pause and then imitate the dancing hula girl on the dash.
You control her movements right?
But you control the car and also before that:
arms, legs, wrist, ankle, palm, sole, fingers, toes...
When you hit a hole in the road.
Is the road controlling you...
The path you are following.
Is driving like fate?
Roads are made by us, however, not necessarily you.
So do other people control your fate?
Or do you..?
6.28.2013
Na-cho POOP
I'm currently ridiculing myself on the toilet for eating a giant pile of buffalo chicken nachos. I enjoy spicy foods in but not out. Why do i put myself through such a process knowing the outcome:
Two types of habanero hot sauce and enough of each to make my nachos float like boats over the fiery sea.
Ingest the fiery sea.
Your fiery sea wants to rejoin its friends from other hot sauce bingers and all the seas converge in the sewage system where they will plan a retaliation by re-bottling themselves to burn your digestive tract all once more.
But what i don't really get is why do people such as myself do these things realizing that it will burn your asshole and make you hunch over so far you can clearly see the dirt under your toenails. Is it human nature to repeat things that you know have an unsatisfying end just to fulfill the present pleasure? Now i'm sure we could inch over to religious symbolism here but I'm sticking with hot-sauce and a burnt anus. Something i hope no one looks for to as a model to pivot there life around on.
Is it come to the day in age where instant gratification always triumphs over the end result?
I suppose this is where STD's come from. Maybe babies. Maybe when i consume gratuitous amounts of hot-sauce it burns my asshole because it is like contracting volcanic gonorrhea as a result of not equipping a simple glove for my one fingered friend.
Maybe i'll start a PSA for this. And offer some free discount coupons to a mexican restaurant with condoms attached.
However, i still have a dilemma. Condoms will prevent disease and babies. But what will prevent my ass from ejecting the flames of hell into my toilet bowl?
Things i will ponder every time i put hot sauce on...well... everything.
What a convenient photo i found eh?
Two types of habanero hot sauce and enough of each to make my nachos float like boats over the fiery sea.
Ingest the fiery sea.
Your fiery sea wants to rejoin its friends from other hot sauce bingers and all the seas converge in the sewage system where they will plan a retaliation by re-bottling themselves to burn your digestive tract all once more.
But what i don't really get is why do people such as myself do these things realizing that it will burn your asshole and make you hunch over so far you can clearly see the dirt under your toenails. Is it human nature to repeat things that you know have an unsatisfying end just to fulfill the present pleasure? Now i'm sure we could inch over to religious symbolism here but I'm sticking with hot-sauce and a burnt anus. Something i hope no one looks for to as a model to pivot there life around on.
Is it come to the day in age where instant gratification always triumphs over the end result?
I suppose this is where STD's come from. Maybe babies. Maybe when i consume gratuitous amounts of hot-sauce it burns my asshole because it is like contracting volcanic gonorrhea as a result of not equipping a simple glove for my one fingered friend.
Maybe i'll start a PSA for this. And offer some free discount coupons to a mexican restaurant with condoms attached.
However, i still have a dilemma. Condoms will prevent disease and babies. But what will prevent my ass from ejecting the flames of hell into my toilet bowl?
Things i will ponder every time i put hot sauce on...well... everything.
What a convenient photo i found eh?
6.12.2013
Painful nerves and some internet therapy
I worked on a house the other day. I know work right? But i got shit to pay. My college degree isn't showing much promise as I sing depressing music in my kitchen to my friends. I wish some big cooperate eagle would come down and swoop me up with their soothing razor-sharp talons. I would happily bleed from my shoulders till i passed out from the feeling it gives. Rather, i wish i didn't get nauseous around blood. I don't dislike blood. My stomach just has a nice imagination of my own.
Anyway, to this job --this gig rather. It paid well, but now i have a new mortal enemy:
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMN YOU TILES. I LOST MY USE OF HALF MY NERVES. I walk with a drop foot, i cant play guitar properly, i feel like a zombie from The Walking Dead. Why do you pay me with money and pain. All those hours sprawled out on the floor in 3 straining positions that are guaranteed to kill any nerve endings or blood flow to half your limbs. Death by yoga.
So later i decided to follow up on a return delivery i sent out to Zappos.com for buying clonky clown shoes for graduation (these were the biggest size 10's i've ever worn). I was saddened that my lucky streak of buying things that fit me online without a worry was ruined. I got bills to pay, mainly my credit card bill tomorrow and I was hoping to have this refund instated in my bank account.
NO IT WAS NOT.
So i chatted up there online staff to inquire about the status. Robert M was his name. An overly cheerful customer service "Zapponian" agent that would ask how the weather is and all sorts of chit-chat while he pulled up the answer to a rather simple question. He finally responded with "2-10 business days for processing" and made me a VIP Zappos member that included some nifty benefits. But i was all like "I got bills to pay" and he was like "i have pay some this weekend too". He added, "Anything else i can help you with today?".
I responded:
Post college debt/depression?
haha just kidding
but thank you
Robert M:
no, no but soon enough aha
Leave it to me to find therapy through Zappos customer service chat.
Anyway, to this job --this gig rather. It paid well, but now i have a new mortal enemy:
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMN YOU TILES. I LOST MY USE OF HALF MY NERVES. I walk with a drop foot, i cant play guitar properly, i feel like a zombie from The Walking Dead. Why do you pay me with money and pain. All those hours sprawled out on the floor in 3 straining positions that are guaranteed to kill any nerve endings or blood flow to half your limbs. Death by yoga.
So later i decided to follow up on a return delivery i sent out to Zappos.com for buying clonky clown shoes for graduation (these were the biggest size 10's i've ever worn). I was saddened that my lucky streak of buying things that fit me online without a worry was ruined. I got bills to pay, mainly my credit card bill tomorrow and I was hoping to have this refund instated in my bank account.
NO IT WAS NOT.
So i chatted up there online staff to inquire about the status. Robert M was his name. An overly cheerful customer service "Zapponian" agent that would ask how the weather is and all sorts of chit-chat while he pulled up the answer to a rather simple question. He finally responded with "2-10 business days for processing" and made me a VIP Zappos member that included some nifty benefits. But i was all like "I got bills to pay" and he was like "i have pay some this weekend too". He added, "Anything else i can help you with today?".
I responded:
Post college debt/depression?
haha just kidding
but thank you
Robert M:
no, no but soon enough aha
Leave it to me to find therapy through Zappos customer service chat.
6.05.2013
Summaries of days gone by without a clue
So this is what i just ate for dinner:
And I know what some people may be thinking, "Oh what a lovely looking salad thing! It's so healthy!"
Well. There is a sad story behind this pasta salad thing.
It is the fact that this is the reminents of food in the kitchen. If i were to open the cabinets right now there would be an abundance of pasta boxes and rice. The rest are ANTS.
We have a lot of ants and flying creatures that like to sneak into every orfice of this home. It did not bother me until a little earlier i was trying to pour sugar into my tea. The sugar was being stubborn and all clumpy. I shook it hard and some came out. I proceeded to shake and smack the box and much to my surprise a series of black dots with flailing arms was taking an afternoon dip in my tea.
Bastard. I wonder how long he was stuck there consuming the little sugar we had left? I do have to confess one thing: I lied about the tea. It was actually almond milk i purchased because i thought i was cool. I thought i would be even cooler by getting the unsweetened version. It is not cool. It taste like...boring and bland mixed into a blender and squirted out an almond's tit.
We also have a lot of these things called "House Centipedes" . An insect i have always been horrified from due to the fact i woke up one day with one staring at my face. That was years ago, and since i live in such a welcoming home to insects i decided to be more kind to them by letter them crawl up my arm so I can fling them out the back door. But what I find most interesting is these fuckers eat other insects. I saw a video of them stab their arms into its victim until they were still. I have gained a new respect for them and would rather have one centipede rather than ants/mosquito/wasps all up in my shit everyday. Oh wasps? Yea, i had a new wasp per day stuck in my bedroom. They would get stuck there and start ramming into the walls and windows till they died. What a strange thing to do. Am i right?
Later days
Well. There is a sad story behind this pasta salad thing.
It is the fact that this is the reminents of food in the kitchen. If i were to open the cabinets right now there would be an abundance of pasta boxes and rice. The rest are ANTS.
We have a lot of ants and flying creatures that like to sneak into every orfice of this home. It did not bother me until a little earlier i was trying to pour sugar into my tea. The sugar was being stubborn and all clumpy. I shook it hard and some came out. I proceeded to shake and smack the box and much to my surprise a series of black dots with flailing arms was taking an afternoon dip in my tea.
Bastard. I wonder how long he was stuck there consuming the little sugar we had left? I do have to confess one thing: I lied about the tea. It was actually almond milk i purchased because i thought i was cool. I thought i would be even cooler by getting the unsweetened version. It is not cool. It taste like...boring and bland mixed into a blender and squirted out an almond's tit.
 |
| cute huh? |
Later days
4.12.2013
Some update. I guess --GOSH, WHY YOU ALL UP IN MY CASE LIKE SARDINES BRO-TINI!!!
I know, i know. Does anyone even read this thing anymore? Truth is I've been so busy with everything in the world.
Which is... graduating college and figuring out my life.
DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THAT BIG OF A DEAL??!?!
well it is.
And god knows you've reached that stagnant part of your life where the sweat from your hard work ethic is starting to seep through your soul and give off an internal rank or as they say on House M.D.. "THEY'VE GONE SEPTIC, THERE IS POOP WHERE IT SHOULD NOT BE."
Lemme tell you something, poop is hard to clean when it is physically inside your organs.
I personally would not know because i only poop in those cylindric portholes that drain into the ocean. That is where i believe my poop goes and it is eaten by radioactive jellyfish that will soon possess the power of flight and then rain our poop back on our cities in retaliation.
I will not admit our poop goes back into our water supply because i might as well poop in a Brita filter and drink it.
As a child, poop can be a fascinating element. You have the ability to mold like clay, or on those "wet" days, FINGERPAINTS. So let children play with their poop! As long as it is not consumed. But i bet any-day now,
someone
SOMEWHERE
will discover how to make poop edible. (If certain fast food chains do not constitute this enough.) There will be a defined "poop sandwich" that can be eaten in a perpetual cycle. Thus ending the issue of animal abuse and irrefutably making food fights more interesting.
I rest my case. Enjoy some animations by me!
(don't forget your hearts n' whistles.)
Which is... graduating college and figuring out my life.
DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THAT BIG OF A DEAL??!?!
well it is.
And god knows you've reached that stagnant part of your life where the sweat from your hard work ethic is starting to seep through your soul and give off an internal rank or as they say on House M.D.. "THEY'VE GONE SEPTIC, THERE IS POOP WHERE IT SHOULD NOT BE."
Lemme tell you something, poop is hard to clean when it is physically inside your organs.
I personally would not know because i only poop in those cylindric portholes that drain into the ocean. That is where i believe my poop goes and it is eaten by radioactive jellyfish that will soon possess the power of flight and then rain our poop back on our cities in retaliation.
I will not admit our poop goes back into our water supply because i might as well poop in a Brita filter and drink it.
As a child, poop can be a fascinating element. You have the ability to mold like clay, or on those "wet" days, FINGERPAINTS. So let children play with their poop! As long as it is not consumed. But i bet any-day now,
someone
SOMEWHERE
will discover how to make poop edible. (If certain fast food chains do not constitute this enough.) There will be a defined "poop sandwich" that can be eaten in a perpetual cycle. Thus ending the issue of animal abuse and irrefutably making food fights more interesting.
I rest my case. Enjoy some animations by me!
(don't forget your hearts n' whistles.)
3.01.2013
Web Comic (the return of the arts)
And for all of you people. I have a short little comic. Enjoy!
© 2013
1.18.2013
New ideas.
So recently a friend and i have been brainstorming about opening a new site. It's in the works now. So i wonder what will come out of it? Maybe good things? let's just hope there are people as cool as us out there.
Never trust a muffin.
1.02.2013
Shitz Bop Kids
I enjoy watching TV when i come home as i do not own one of my own. I am welcomed by old and new shows a like. But there is one reoccurring disaster that plagues my television experience.
It's the Shitz Bop Kids.
I don't know what propels this franchise so far, i thought irritated fans of these artists would burn down the factories these are being mass produced in. I imagine music fans that hate it when their "personal" bands get "big" and "sell out" would go nuts if their music was being sung by children. But alas, it has now lived on to its 23rd CD release.
I'm all in for covering songs as it pays respect to the original artists and contributors hard work. However, i don't see the respect paid to artists if it is placed in the hands of karaoke singing children.
Someone could argue, hey, they are just having fun! Why not have fun to the original artists and skip the royalties? Do people actual enjoy their music? Yes, some bratty kids do. I've seen them where i used to work whine about their Shitz.
I wish it ended at just being shitty cover music sung by a couple of no-name children with parents who probably paid a shit ton to give them vocal lessons even though their voices probably won't get any better than a pubescent chipmunk. Upon greater research i stumbled upon a social networking site directed to kids. It was this instance that i proceeded to vomit until i turned inside out.
They are holding some kind of dance contest currently. I think. Unfortunately they seem to be brainwashed in thinking that if they show their talent on this site, they will get recognized, and thus living their life as a celebrity. Or maybe it is just for fun? Right? That's what is advertized and what kids should be introduced to. Social media, cyber bullying via a free comment section --and and and the cotton candy ideas that they will all be dancers, singers, or winners to the "how much do you like icecream" contests.
But there will always be people who break from the pack:
With comments on this video on the website ranging from "Soo stupid" to "i wuv luv <3"
Just what we need is a child with some catchy lines written for them and some expensive budget to tell us about economics. I'd like to ask this child representative, where is my money and every other college kid that will be broke as fuck when they graduate? She seems to have plenty money to put together such a stylish video.
It is because of these things i'm worried what our children will be exposed to when they grow up. Is endorsing media giants who glamorize crappy youth talent to select audiences so they can make money off of them through advertizements the way to go? If kids attention is drawn to this rather than, idk, finding themselves, who will they be when they are older and this facade fails? Business' that take advantage of kids is cruel as kids do not know how to control money whatsoever. It is the parents of these children that are drained. It is indirect marketing to siphon money from families who actually make it, not kids. With little regard to catering entertainment that better enlightens children, these companies are like a glittery poison.
It's the Shitz Bop Kids.
I don't know what propels this franchise so far, i thought irritated fans of these artists would burn down the factories these are being mass produced in. I imagine music fans that hate it when their "personal" bands get "big" and "sell out" would go nuts if their music was being sung by children. But alas, it has now lived on to its 23rd CD release.
I'm all in for covering songs as it pays respect to the original artists and contributors hard work. However, i don't see the respect paid to artists if it is placed in the hands of karaoke singing children.
Someone could argue, hey, they are just having fun! Why not have fun to the original artists and skip the royalties? Do people actual enjoy their music? Yes, some bratty kids do. I've seen them where i used to work whine about their Shitz.
I wish it ended at just being shitty cover music sung by a couple of no-name children with parents who probably paid a shit ton to give them vocal lessons even though their voices probably won't get any better than a pubescent chipmunk. Upon greater research i stumbled upon a social networking site directed to kids. It was this instance that i proceeded to vomit until i turned inside out.
They are holding some kind of dance contest currently. I think. Unfortunately they seem to be brainwashed in thinking that if they show their talent on this site, they will get recognized, and thus living their life as a celebrity. Or maybe it is just for fun? Right? That's what is advertized and what kids should be introduced to. Social media, cyber bullying via a free comment section --and and and the cotton candy ideas that they will all be dancers, singers, or winners to the "how much do you like icecream" contests.
But there will always be people who break from the pack:
Just what we need is a child with some catchy lines written for them and some expensive budget to tell us about economics. I'd like to ask this child representative, where is my money and every other college kid that will be broke as fuck when they graduate? She seems to have plenty money to put together such a stylish video.
It is because of these things i'm worried what our children will be exposed to when they grow up. Is endorsing media giants who glamorize crappy youth talent to select audiences so they can make money off of them through advertizements the way to go? If kids attention is drawn to this rather than, idk, finding themselves, who will they be when they are older and this facade fails? Business' that take advantage of kids is cruel as kids do not know how to control money whatsoever. It is the parents of these children that are drained. It is indirect marketing to siphon money from families who actually make it, not kids. With little regard to catering entertainment that better enlightens children, these companies are like a glittery poison.
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