It has been going on like a perpetual hangover. The last time I drank my liver decided to take a vacation from its job and divided the work amongst the rest of my body. My stomach swashed around the unprocessed ethyl like an oak barrel. To say that it felt like my organs were being distilled was an understatement.
But let's step back for a bit and realize the motives of complete negligence to my body. As I am tossed more into the unknown I have found a person can always have two friends: a cigarette to burn and a beer to wash it down. They can prove to be great time wasters. Don't have a T.V.? Why not try a cigarette. Thirsty? Please. Throw that glass of water over your shoulder and opt for something that will numb your throat on the way down. Am I a bohemian yet?
Something occurs when you mix your thoughts with substances and plop down in a social circle. Do the temporary prolific words coming out of your mouth really sink so far in that you go, "Wow, that was too much, excuse me will I head to the toilet to release some of my brilliance".
Let's think about that for a second.
With heavy eyes I am phased with the issue of offering my extremely dedicated soul to work. Man, I am a human being willing to put forth my energy to better someone else's dream. Why not take me? How many other places do I have to slave at before I'm considered a prime cut of meat. I'm essentially given a car with a gallon of gas and a bank account with a negative balance. The quickest answer is, obviously, to drive off the nearest bridge.
Alas, I can bitch and moan to my house plants because they actually enjoy the humidity from my hysterical rants being exhaled onto their leaves. As I like to maintain an ecosystem, I listen to what they have to say by breathing that oh-so-sweet oxygen and tarnish it with my blood.
When will I provide some dignified content to this society? Well, I think it will happen when it decides to listen. So until then I'll drink smoothies spiked with chia seeds to make myself feel better for going through an extra rinse cycle of booze.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
1.14.2015
12.12.2013
The Personality of Cities
I was strolling along Manhattan the other day in the wrong direction, as usual. The snow was beating against my sad, limp excuse for an umbrella as i used it to shield my face from the headwind. I got lost in China town again, and I managed to use the most unnecessarily expensive route via the subway because every time I thought I was close to my destination I got off only to realize that I was far as fuck.
But like any city I'm not accustomed to, the transportation becomes muscle memory with routine use. This is assuming I have muscles (I hardly believe it myself, but I do!). During my stay in Tokyo, I noticed the city was planned out with various side streets that led to more side streets on the sides of streets. You can gain your bearings pretty easily for routes you frequent. But— that is only a select few areas. I've wandered over 4 hours through Tokyo suburbs at night following the wrong set of train tracks with a beer and cigarette to light my way. I considered sleeping in a playground and feared i would startle locals in the area. Luckily, I scrounged up some broken Japanese to ask a police officer standing outside his outpost how to get home. He put his guard up when I approached him initially until he realized I was lost and trying to get home. He proceeded to happily pull out a map and gave me directions (THAT I UNDERSTOOD!). And the second time, well, I don't know why I thought I knew where I was going after my first journey. This was the flaw of going out in a city that shuts down their trains in the early hours of the next day.
There is also another thing that brews in highly populated areas, and that is the strange. Maybe not necessarily strange —more different. It seems that it is in human nature to try and prove one's unique ability; ranging from, the ostentatious fashion to the projecting personality. Some people seem to dislike being categorized as ants buzzing around doing ant things.
Or cat things
That being said, I am one of those people (not a master cat trainer unfortunately). I desperately try to stand out otherwise I have this gut feeling of being lost inside humanity. I don't want to be a grain of sand in the hourglass, I want to be the one staring at it from the outside. This is why i love to create. It is an ability to say "Hey i'm something" and even if it is a small something... it's better than nothing.
However, not everyone wants to show off. Introverts exist in the background of all our lives. They peacefully try to co-exist in-between the big acts. Carefully crafting their own little worlds for themselves to live in.
Do I think everyone needs to prove something? No, not unless they want to prove something. I have my own reasons for doing what I do. Don't you?
It is up to all of us to lead our own lives. I think the biggest thing I've learned by living is that...you should be living for whatever it is you enjoy. Not what someone else enjoys, not what you "should" enjoy, but what makes your face flicker in content and passion. Even if that means letting cats perch upon your head in public.
-Joe
But like any city I'm not accustomed to, the transportation becomes muscle memory with routine use. This is assuming I have muscles (I hardly believe it myself, but I do!). During my stay in Tokyo, I noticed the city was planned out with various side streets that led to more side streets on the sides of streets. You can gain your bearings pretty easily for routes you frequent. But— that is only a select few areas. I've wandered over 4 hours through Tokyo suburbs at night following the wrong set of train tracks with a beer and cigarette to light my way. I considered sleeping in a playground and feared i would startle locals in the area. Luckily, I scrounged up some broken Japanese to ask a police officer standing outside his outpost how to get home. He put his guard up when I approached him initially until he realized I was lost and trying to get home. He proceeded to happily pull out a map and gave me directions (THAT I UNDERSTOOD!). And the second time, well, I don't know why I thought I knew where I was going after my first journey. This was the flaw of going out in a city that shuts down their trains in the early hours of the next day.
There is also another thing that brews in highly populated areas, and that is the strange. Maybe not necessarily strange —more different. It seems that it is in human nature to try and prove one's unique ability; ranging from, the ostentatious fashion to the projecting personality. Some people seem to dislike being categorized as ants buzzing around doing ant things.
Or cat things
That being said, I am one of those people (not a master cat trainer unfortunately). I desperately try to stand out otherwise I have this gut feeling of being lost inside humanity. I don't want to be a grain of sand in the hourglass, I want to be the one staring at it from the outside. This is why i love to create. It is an ability to say "Hey i'm something" and even if it is a small something... it's better than nothing.
However, not everyone wants to show off. Introverts exist in the background of all our lives. They peacefully try to co-exist in-between the big acts. Carefully crafting their own little worlds for themselves to live in.
Do I think everyone needs to prove something? No, not unless they want to prove something. I have my own reasons for doing what I do. Don't you?
It is up to all of us to lead our own lives. I think the biggest thing I've learned by living is that...you should be living for whatever it is you enjoy. Not what someone else enjoys, not what you "should" enjoy, but what makes your face flicker in content and passion. Even if that means letting cats perch upon your head in public.
-Joe
11.28.2013
Sleeping Relations
I love to nap like a cat under the warm sun. And why not? Sleep is something we all have to do eventually.
But sleep and I share an interesting relationship.
I recall this blossoming around the middle school era. The time when I thought my decisions were for my better advancement through the grade ladder. Well, as soon as I adapted a decent internet connection I was sucked into the void.
This void is a time when you are on a computer and you fall into an inter-dimensional rift that holds your mind in stasis. The world drifts on while you meander in the never-ending possibilities of the digital spectrum. Windows 98 was my prehistoric matrix. I chose the red pill and was plunged into the digital expressway (with some pretty informational diagrams of the female autonomy).
Putting my pubescent hormones aside, I dipped my toes in more often until my body was consumed. My relationship with sleep was severed and I ignored its calls to go to bed as my eyes bestowed a shade of red hovering over black puddles of exhaustion.
Many of my friends knew I didn't sleep and my girlfriend at the time would joke over my lifeless fatigue. Somehow, I managed to function during my daily tasks. And also, somehow my energy was restored by shrouding the room in monitor light. I had become a nerd. Intrigued in this world, upgrading the box I used to access it, diagnosing problems and online shopping for my dreams.
I used to watch old Blink-182 skits/homevideos on this site called "YouTube" when it was still a minuet video exchange, compared to the colossal information hub it has transformed into.
Oh sleep? I still got it. On the bus ride to school and when my body shut down at 3pm when i arrived home.
Then there was coffee. This drug-in-a-cup prolonged my ability to fend off the increasing impatient sleep gravity that weighed me down. Once i started working at an After-school Program my afternoon reboot was invaded and i had to replace it with a hundred kids and coffee. Impressively, i managed quite well by absorbing the children's energy like a walking solar panel(I like to think that's how it works).
It only escalates further in college, the anti-sleep institution. When do social interactions take place? nearly 24/7 with a slight taper on the hangover period from 5-9am. But that's okay you can just sleep OH WAIT 30 PAGE PAPER DUE IN A FEW DAYS. Ok-ok, sleep today then —TOO BAD, you've written 2 sentences of your 30 pages, you have to finish a book, stare at pie-chart of human ethics and social behavior for 2 hrs, then study for your genetics exam. Then, you realize it's Friday. All your friends are going out and for a split second you contemplate in your mind what is more fun...You always have Sunday right?
Coffee can no longer support you without side effects. Gyrating stomach pains, from accumulated acidity, become more prevalent.
So, we enter the realm of Red Bull and Adderall because sleep is for the meek.
It is only now that I'm relinquishing my past neglect of sleep —it only took a decade. Sleep is a wonderful part of me. I want to sleep and dream all the time! Experimenting with sleep cycles is fun! Just take a look at the natural expert Max-the-dog. He will sleep all day and wake up to bark at the mail-man, eat, and poop. He couldn't give two shits of what's going on outside his territory, long as he got the basics.
What a life!
What is your relationship with sleep?
Love, Best friends, Strangers, Complicated?
-Joe
But sleep and I share an interesting relationship.
I recall this blossoming around the middle school era. The time when I thought my decisions were for my better advancement through the grade ladder. Well, as soon as I adapted a decent internet connection I was sucked into the void.
This void is a time when you are on a computer and you fall into an inter-dimensional rift that holds your mind in stasis. The world drifts on while you meander in the never-ending possibilities of the digital spectrum. Windows 98 was my prehistoric matrix. I chose the red pill and was plunged into the digital expressway (with some pretty informational diagrams of the female autonomy).
Putting my pubescent hormones aside, I dipped my toes in more often until my body was consumed. My relationship with sleep was severed and I ignored its calls to go to bed as my eyes bestowed a shade of red hovering over black puddles of exhaustion.
Many of my friends knew I didn't sleep and my girlfriend at the time would joke over my lifeless fatigue. Somehow, I managed to function during my daily tasks. And also, somehow my energy was restored by shrouding the room in monitor light. I had become a nerd. Intrigued in this world, upgrading the box I used to access it, diagnosing problems and online shopping for my dreams.
I used to watch old Blink-182 skits/homevideos on this site called "YouTube" when it was still a minuet video exchange, compared to the colossal information hub it has transformed into.
Oh sleep? I still got it. On the bus ride to school and when my body shut down at 3pm when i arrived home.
Then there was coffee. This drug-in-a-cup prolonged my ability to fend off the increasing impatient sleep gravity that weighed me down. Once i started working at an After-school Program my afternoon reboot was invaded and i had to replace it with a hundred kids and coffee. Impressively, i managed quite well by absorbing the children's energy like a walking solar panel(I like to think that's how it works).
It only escalates further in college, the anti-sleep institution. When do social interactions take place? nearly 24/7 with a slight taper on the hangover period from 5-9am. But that's okay you can just sleep OH WAIT 30 PAGE PAPER DUE IN A FEW DAYS. Ok-ok, sleep today then —TOO BAD, you've written 2 sentences of your 30 pages, you have to finish a book, stare at pie-chart of human ethics and social behavior for 2 hrs, then study for your genetics exam. Then, you realize it's Friday. All your friends are going out and for a split second you contemplate in your mind what is more fun...You always have Sunday right?
Coffee can no longer support you without side effects. Gyrating stomach pains, from accumulated acidity, become more prevalent.
So, we enter the realm of Red Bull and Adderall because sleep is for the meek.
It is only now that I'm relinquishing my past neglect of sleep —it only took a decade. Sleep is a wonderful part of me. I want to sleep and dream all the time! Experimenting with sleep cycles is fun! Just take a look at the natural expert Max-the-dog. He will sleep all day and wake up to bark at the mail-man, eat, and poop. He couldn't give two shits of what's going on outside his territory, long as he got the basics.
What a life!
What is your relationship with sleep?
Love, Best friends, Strangers, Complicated?
-Joe
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