The other night I stepped outside to go to work dressed like
I sheared a herd of alpacas and rolled around their fur covered in honey. Only to notice, how astonishingly warm it was
out. IT IS TIME TO BREAK OUT THE JORTS
(which, if you Google, will lead you to a pretty established hate group).
My commute is not grand as others. It is in fact boring and littered with
fond police folk. Yet, on cold days it
seems I have to either bring along my bedding or utilize the hover method to
keep my ass from freezing to the decaying thing, once called a leather seat, beneath me. For those who don’t know
the hover method, think of a dirty public toilet.
My plan was pretty foolproof. Cold days became more of a
routine manner. I wake-up, dress, grab lunch, brew choice of hot beverage and then
go! Sometimes, I’ll also have a hot minute to
evaluate my life in the mirror but then disregard it all because OH MY GOD WHY
THE FUCK AM I STILL GETTING ACNE. And I spite
the little red bastard by shaking my angry fist at it. It responds by throbbing and I lose. Anyway,
the routine was foolproof aside from
the fact that I do not own a travel mug and I rather make my life as difficult
as possible by driving stick shift with a piping hot coffee clenched between my
thighs. Yes, I’ve spilled numerous times on
myself. Only dribbles here and there. It was never as bad as when I dropped an entire cup as I sat down one cold evening and my entire thigh region lit up in
a vapor of steaming hot coffee. I did
not know those tones of pain could be articulated by my mouth, but I continue
to surprise myself.
This brings me to a point of reflection. Am I stupid for repeating this same action
over and over again even though it has literally burnt me enough times that I should spend 2$ for a travel sized mug? Or is this a metaphor for my dream-chaser
attitude in life? Is this why the government can't pass needed laws or amends? Or am I just expanding
this issue so it doesn’t sound like I’m too lazy to buy myself a mug? Maybe mugs will be my priority when I’m 30.
So, my question for you to think about:
Is there something you've always intended to attain, and have the
means of doing so, but never ever
get around to it?
Because if you are lost, those are the best presents (not
that I’m insinuating you to get me a travel mug, but…that would actually be nice!)
-Joe
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