the creator.

NEW POSTTT NEW POSTTT

buzz buzz buzz goes the copy machine.
wait. what's this?
it's copying nude pictures of yourself?
what. when were these taken?
and when were you playing with a grapefruit while naked?

you have to find out, you slam the door to your car and jet off
to spring awakening,
tho when you get there, it is rather cold.

that is because you're in fucking ALASKA.

great, so you turn around, run out of gas, and end up pushing the car
endlessly towards the next gas station,
you're parched so you buy a water.

too bad the water is filled with cigarette buts.

damn damn damn.

you don't have enough money for gas, so the owner lets you trade your car
for a full tank of gas.

but then you realize how stupid that was and ask for trade backs.
the owner shakes their head and says.

"no refunds"

balls to the wall, is what your feeling now.
someone has put you on a roller coaster and you don't question why your there.

but how on earth are you supposed to stand the daunting drop into an acidic pool
of dismembered limbs.

you blink once and all is gone.

all the trees, the sky, and the rest of the scenery is just blank.

then you have an sudden sporadic cough and starts to spew out color and
the building blocks to support life in this empty land.

and that's when your life started.

It has returned.

Not much to say about this one, other than it will be sold at your local Toys R Us for 5,000 dollars VERY soon. Get em' while they are in stock and hot hot hot.  Your kids will be preoccupied with this game soo much that you can neglect them as much as you want! THINK of the money you would save in the long run.

Coupons available if you ever have the urge to donate your hair for my life size wooly mammoth model.

-pubic hair accepted.

A simple workout routine to gain the perfect body.

So, i've been working on this routine to maintain the perfect
hot sizzling body that reflects sun rays off JUST as good as those
oily body builders.

i rub a dozen egg whites all over my body,
roll around in copper dust,
feed my leftover portions to my pet manatee
do laps around the pacific ring of fire every morning.
Chew on wood, for fiber and healthy gum development.
Then i relax in a cooling tub of hot fudge to clean my pores
and revitalize my sexual feeling for chocolate.

After just 2 days, here are my results.

Pretty irresistible right? Just imagine me in your bed. oh i would ruff those sheets,
arf arf, like a dog licking the carpet.
like a swallow eagerly awaiting more fresh and plentiful.
Gatorade.
is that all that's in you?
my sextuplet truffle chocolate with Skippy peanut butter on top?

And now time for some current events: