Friday Afterstory

Problematically calculating every tweezed  neuron from your brain.

whoa, that's what hang overs feel like.  you have no motivation, it isn't a real day.  If you get anything accomplished you aren't too excited about it.  That's what Monday, and Tuesday have felt like.  Though i haven't been consuming anything but chicken rice, and friendly exhaust fumes from the buzzing taxis of Tokyo.

So as a continuation from Friday night, there was a lot of money just flying out of my wallet like pigeons.  Really ugly 2-D depression inducing pigeons.  Clubs are expensive, or at least this one was.  The person leading us around had no care in the world where his money was going.  Ok sir, with a real job and a salary that is 110% higher than mine because mine is currently negative...so very low, and negative.

2 free drinks at the door not bad,
3000 yen at the door what the fuck.

and this was an all nighter right?  how come i couldn't sit on the stupid black square no one was on?
because i wasn't a girl. boohooo.

Aside from that, we met an array of people, stuck up, nice, happy, quiet, fun blah blah blah

did i forget to mention we lost one of our friends in the group?

yes, this person was like a small child.  If you turned away, he'd be gone.  After losing him and finding him once.  We lost him after the next song and just gave up looking for him. We assumed he'd be ok.

And okay super large but super nice secretary guard.  I know that you're trying to keep me from ashing on the floor.  But you don't have to say すみません (excuse me) and kindly push me with your giant meat hands in the direction of the ash tray.

Although, it was kind of...well nice.  His huge hands were still threatening though.

Because, I'm more used to the security guards in America, who will kick you out of the club if your under aged and have a beer, you snatch your cigarette from your hands cause you cant smoke.  And no matter how much you beg or cry, they will be an asshole to you.  Because that's their job...to be a big asshole that can move things. yea. that's life i guess. 

I doozed in and out of sleep on the train ride back home round 5:30 am.  Watching everyother person sitting on the train nod their head up and down with the force of exhaustion.

I stopped by a 7/11 on the way towards home and picked up very early breakfast.  then laughed when i saw someone i knew come back around the same time.  I was too sleepy to change or shower.  i inhaled my food and passed out elegantly as i woke up later with a fantastic drool puddle by my cheek.

today is Wednesday, today is another concert.  woohoo! i can't wait to get out of school....i'm dreading it right now.

Dating profile for the young and hopeless

I LIKE BIG BLUE HAMMER
i'm disproportionate and have an excessive amount of FAT
and it's all around the knees
which look like inner tubes.
I'm losing all my hair except for the fuzz on my ass.
My body odor smells like wet snails doused in gasoline
I have as many nipples as a short tailed opossum (yes i had to Google that shit)
my breath requires a whole bottle of Listerine every hour to stay bearable
My clothes are the same ones since the 5th grade
i chew on various forms of non edible substances for nutrition
i do yoga naked on top of hot blacktop in the summer
I take showers by rolling around on a few moist towels
my fingers are like chopsticks
my brain is melted watery doo doo
one of my knees bends the other way so i walk like a G (grandma).
my family tells me I'm related, but i have a high suspicion
I'm not.
Sometimes i like to smell my own underwear
And no, I'm not good at sex either.

A simple workout routine to gain the perfect body.

So, i've been working on this routine to maintain the perfect
hot sizzling body that reflects sun rays off JUST as good as those
oily body builders.

i rub a dozen egg whites all over my body,
roll around in copper dust,
feed my leftover portions to my pet manatee
do laps around the pacific ring of fire every morning.
Chew on wood, for fiber and healthy gum development.
Then i relax in a cooling tub of hot fudge to clean my pores
and revitalize my sexual feeling for chocolate.

After just 2 days, here are my results.

Pretty irresistible right? Just imagine me in your bed. oh i would ruff those sheets,
arf arf, like a dog licking the carpet.
like a swallow eagerly awaiting more fresh and plentiful.
Gatorade.
is that all that's in you?
my sextuplet truffle chocolate with Skippy peanut butter on top?

And now time for some current events:

drug diet.

I have found it!
It's the drug of all drugs,
the one that makes you witty
and sly,
and makes everything look great under only one eye.
Your feet will scream orgasm! orgasm! each time you walk!
and even when you talk, your words will be carried out
on fluffy little clouds,
made of the evaporated happiness,
that is stored in your lungs.
Your kidneys will vibrate and stimulate your pee,
and you will moan and groan with exasperated please.
You will neither be cold nor hot,
but a mellow in between.
this drug will make you feel anything but mean.

However one should take caution with a lifestyle driven by mad happiness.
it can make you blind, and you'll spin off like a top
and in live in a world full of color and awe,
but that's not reality.
that's not all.

but go out and have a ball if you wish.
just don't forget to bring your favorite dish.
to the dinner party on Sunday.