prostitutes and more prostitutes

ooooh fuck, ooooh fuck here it goes.

another weekly updatesglsajglsagjsgsa
that just gurgles down the drain in such a slow...painful manner.
like last nights vomit.
that was too  chunky because you decided to eat 3 big mac's before the mixing of
beer and spirits
 inducing a chemically goo.

Well anyway, here i am, about an hour where i used to live, in my new living enclosure.
sure, i'm poor as fuck.  And cabbage and eggs are what keep me going.

Their is an occasional spice of tobacco sprinkled over my "i can't do goddamn anything because i cannot afford the train fair."

None the less, here is what i have to tell you.

massgi, known as a "massage" in japanese.  Is not what you think.  Now if you read one of my previous blog posts you would know that this is indeed --The sales pitch of a prostitute....  I haven't personally run into any prostitutes...only my good friend has.  Yet, my laughter at his predicament fueled my karma-o-meter which means i was in for a treat...

Spinning backward a few days ago, it was a Wednesday and one of the last days i could hang out with all my friends before they went back to the states.  So it started off with

-hey, lets all go drink by the riverside.

then went to

-hey, let's go to karaoke with a bottle of whiskey

then off to...

-my friend can get us to this club for cheap, let's goo!


now me being drunk and missing my beloved friends, of course i wanted to fucking do all 3.
so i did all 3...and this is how it progressed from the latter:

Arrived at train station, was greeted with fried chicken and an eggroll. NICE!

rode the train halfway because they stopped running...had to walk the rest of the way..not so nice.
got a taxi cab ride the last 3 blocks....woo? (i didn't pay for that)

go in the club...found out my drink tickets were mostly just shot tickets after repeatedly trying to
get the same drink mixed using my shot ticket...

and to sum up all the action that goes on in this club.
drink...drink...drink...dance...dance...dance...dance

and pretty much danced my fucking toenails off.  Even when i was approached by people, conversation didn't happen.  And if it did.  It consisted of me asking for a light and another cigarette.

So partway through the night, half my friends got kicked out of  the club...do i know why?  nope.  because i was too busy bruising my body with eccentric dance maneuvers.

apparently girls were able to drink for free, so i asked one of my friends to get me a drink...it was immediatly snatched from my hands the second i tried to switch dance floors.  but i wasn't kicked out...must have seen me dancing. buhahwhawhawhawhawha. yea. no.

so after spending a few hours dancing and giving "pickup" advice the club closed.

but...wait...where are our fucking jackets?
Yes, they are in a locker somewhere.  But we have no idea which one or who has the key.

Then friendly bouncer guy decided to be all anal and kick us out with some kind english words.
"Get out. Leave. Now" -repeat, -repeat.

After being like uuuh, what the hell...i followed the group to our next destination.  However, we lost all the members of our group besides 1 other man.

Dazed and confused we walked  in one direction together until we were instantaneously grabbed by the wrists and dragged into an elevator.  We looked at each other like "what the hell is going on???"

These mysterious women kept saying "it's ok, it's ok."

but surely it wasn't as we were taken to a dimly lit room with two beds, divided by a blanket hanging in the middle.  They proceeded to take off our shirts in a lightning quick pace.  Holy shit. They just kept saying it was "ok" and mentioned a price inbetween their words of comfort.  At that moment the hysteria of the situation subsided and my movie reel imagination snapped back into the real world.

"let's get the fuck out of here", i yelled to my friend.

I apologized and gathered my clothes back on my body and made my way towards the exit with my buddy.  Both of us still in disbelief.

The morning continued with us going into yet another club..."no cover charge no cover charge" as they hustled us in.

i was tired as fuck. but who cares, i'll just dance.
what, this club wont give me water? i'll drink from the faucet.
What, some foreign girl approached me about a drink? fuck yes!
wait...she wanted me to buy her a drink?  hell...fucking...no...

so yes, i danced, and this one girl liked it so much...when i took a break from dancing (because it was god knows what time) she started hitting me insisting i dance.

i was scared and too tired to have a care in the world.  My two friends at this club wanted to leave, but i held back for a second...and then they were gone --leaving me with this girl who kind of intimidates me because her use of physical force to make a compliment.

so i leave trying to catch up with them...
but i lost them with the sunlight shining bright in my eyes and the alcohol saying "haha. you're going to be hung over like shit!"

So with my body beaten like a rag doll from dancing and that intimidating girl, i strolled along the urban sprawl to find my way back home.

BUT WAIT

i was grabbed by yet another prostitue and pulled towards the end of the street.
but thankfully my "nononoono train station, TRAIN STATION, i'm sorry" got through to her.
And she kindly gave me directions to the nearest train station.

Thank you prostitute, for giving me directions to go home and face a 2 day hangover, being the worst one i've had in my life.  You will not all just abduct me against me will.

(that fried chicken from earlier stayed at the club in my coat pocket for about 5 days by the way)

おやすみ
oyasumi

Dancing Compilation #1

Because I'm too lazy to write, here is my latest YouTube video!!!! ENJOYY!!!

=)

Japanese Shopping List

Observations of my life since i last made a post:

-Haha, yea, i saw Jack Sparrow riding a bicycle.
-Why do old men walking down the street think i'm their friend?
-There was a pervert on the loose and the police suspected my friend
-Ipod's are so useful until your headphones break, then its just...lame.
-I haven't cleaned my mucked up shoes from the crazy irish music festival
       -and spraying Febreeze on it did not make the black gunk go away.
 -School is losing it's appeal.  But i think you already knew that.
-Cheap wine makes my stomach bubble and my intestines kink
      -lesson learned, don't buy 395yen bottle of wine...the conversion rate to USD alone should make you sick

-My dorm manager has a portal inside his room in which he can retrieve any object he so desires.
-My legs are starting to settle into normality and my knees are no longer screaming in pain.
-I need new pants.
-I need more money to buy pants.
-I need a job for more money.
-I need a lot of things...

My airplane ticket is being very stubborn.  I say i want to stay longer.  It says it will be expensive.
....asshole...

-Numbers have no emotions.
there are too many in this world.

- I lived out of my guitar case for a good couple days.  It is quite roomy in there.
-shoulders hurt from carrying this second home

-massages are good, if you are asked for a massagi? or massgy....or however it translates...by a women off the street.  She is a prostitute.  And there are a lot of them.

-Cigarette filters here have activated carbon, sounds cool, makes me feel like i'm not killing myself as much.  (same type of thing they use in a Brita filter)

-I left my yogurt outside my fridge over night.  It was warm to the touch before i put it back in the morning after.  Waiting till i starve until i dare try one.

-Don't consume the left over benedryl that has been sitting on your desk for a month.  It will make you throw up.

-Till next time!

-Joe